[Super.]
DWS: I clearly don't have the Oedipus complex, because you are nothing like my mother.
[Tempting...]
DWS: You have to come to the shed to see my socks,
DWS: Anyway enough about my orgasm of a meal, how was your night?
***
Pictionary & Countdown
[News from the fridge.]
GAT: I also found a pot of cream that went off on the 4th April. It gave me a funny look.
GAT: If you're going to play against me, I have to win. And I'm going to win by cheating. Fair?
MD: Yes.
***
Kill List [- what an awful film! But I did like this one bit.]
[Re: Christians singing in the restaurant. Beautiful.]
X: God's love can be hard to swallow.
Y: Not as hard as a dinner plate.
***
The Union and beyond
TJEW: Knock, knock.
HY: Who's there?
TJEW: Interrupting cow.
HY: Interrupting cow wh- TJEW: MOOOO!
HY: OK... That's not the sloth joke though.
GLSB: I'll go to the zoo <Swiss accent> knok, knok...
[Apparently re: dying GAT's hair...]
GLSB: I've become powerful somehow.
AJZ: There were twigs and leaves... He was like grazing in the forest.
TJEW: Shit Twitter. That's the best thing my phone gives me.
TJEW: It'd make the mile high club that much more difficult. You'd be having sex on a toilet. In a plane. A mile from the ground.
[AET vs umbrella]
JM: It has more rational political views.
[Ahh, yes... Logic, my old friend, we meet again!]
GAT: I'm not drunk, I just drank too much beer.
GLSB: I'm quite a heavy sleeper.
TJEW: Yes. As I've discovered.
AET: All I'm imagining now is Edward Scissorhands trying to play the piano.
TJEW: I will do whatever so long as my suit doesn't get ruined.
TJEW: Oh MD, you are giving me so many reasons for why this isn't my problem.
HY: With JM. Who is the most legal looking person in the world.
[Re: AET's beer]
MD: JM, dip your penis in it!
MP: "Dip" is just a funny verb...
MD: Put your penis in it!
MP: Dip!
JM: How else would I do it?
MP: Lengthy stay?
GAT: Marinade?
MP: Who has a small penis?
JM: Has our party sort of dwindled?
AET: Fortunately I'm not in the business of using my facial hair as a - JM: CHIN STRAP!
JM: You could shave off all your hair and leave a brow at the end. You could say you're so "highbrow" you've become "lowbrow".
TJEW: Then you'd be "backbrow"...
JM: I hate it when people put walls in my holes.
[Don't know who this is from. It might even be a continuation of JM's quote. I was quite drunk at this stage, so Dictionary Book's annotations are all I have to go by now.]
x: You shit overboard and then dip a bit. Just like I did with TJEW's drink.
TJEW: <holds up pint glass> How did you fit your ass in this?
GAT: The current music video is some kind of pasta porn.
[Re: our hardcore neighbour, who stays up way past midnight! :O]
GAT: Owww, even the pirate is still up!
MD: Why the hell is there a hair dryer here? JM, what the hell have you been doing?
JM: Defrosting another flatmate.
[To put this in context: he recently kindly warmed me up using a hair dryer and hot water (Not together! I'm sure that would be considered "attempted murder" by a court of law.) after a frosty morning jog (in mid-May may I add.)]
[To put this in context: he recently kindly warmed me up using a hair dryer and hot water (Not together! I'm sure that would be considered "attempted murder" by a court of law.) after a frosty morning jog (in mid-May may I add.)]
***
Girls' night out
[Playing Articulate]
MD: Another word for "carpet".
JAD: RUG!
MD: Nevermind...
...
MD: It was "rag". Don't people say "You old rag"?
JAD: No... They say "You old hag".
[Nevermind then...]
JAD: It's like a male person, with a letter in front of it...
MD: OMAN!
[IT WAS!!!]
JCV: I've been watching the people...
MD: ...Why?
JCV: There's a table of sluts over there.
AJZ: That was a good high five!
MD: ...You high five like a sloth.
***
AET's birthday
AET: I have a lit cigarette. You have eyes. Don't ever call me a liberal democrat again.
AET: Beer me.
JM: Just whisky yourself.
[Again, no author. Fuck you, tipsy-me.]
Fine, I bow to your superior knowledge of...tapes.
AET: I never know if it's "duck" tape or "duct" tape.
JM: Shut the duck up!
AET: Suck the duck fuck.
JM: ...Probably exhausted that line there.
[Re: smoking making you cool]
AET: Look at Humphrey Bogart.
TJEW: He's dead.
AET: OK. Look at Frank Sinatra.
TJEW: He's also dead.
JM: I don't know, if I was taking a whippet on a night out... [I stopped listening. I wish I hadn't.]
[Re: AJZ being allergic to fish food]
JM: I thought to feed them you had to put your hand through a layer of excrement.
[Re: JM's hairiness.]
AJZ: Nice. Primal.
AET: You took a shit?! I thought you were just taking the piss!
TJEW: I think there's wrestling going on. Or possibly boxing.
[Re: pub owner living for a really long time]
HY: There's gotta be some...subliminal urge.
[Re: awkward introductions]
AET: I don't know. How do normal people deal with social interactions?
***
Miscellaneous
GAT: What's my favourite book?
MD: Ummmmm...
GAT: Think Highgate Cemetery.
MD: Ooh! DAS KAPITAL!
GAT: Yes, 'cause I'm all about the Marx...
[Written down by GAT. I disapprove. I was working on a duck website picture and learning Photoshop.]
MD: Feet, toes... Where is my beak?!
GAT: Apparently electrical stimulation to the brain can drastically improve mathematical ability.
MD: But does it reduce your social skills?
GAT: I don't know. But I like how you think there's a link. Thanks!
MD: Did you just sit in cake?
GAT: No. I stepped in pie.
MD: What are you wielding?
GAT: I'LL WIELD WHATEVER I LIKE!
MD: I didn't say "Don't wield that"....
[Re: Beauty and the Beast]
GAT: Also a drawful of spoons just became a drawful of like 35 people
[Re: male purpose/ego]
GAT: We don't have tigers anymore. We're down to jars.
A: I'm surprised you're a comic.
DC: Why? Do you not think that I'm funny?
MD: Tatusiu, dlaczego lapales kurczaki?
SD: A tak dla zabawy.
GAT: What? Drug dealers aren't allowed strippers?
MD: No.
GAT: You racist!
GAT: No. I don't listen to organs.
MD: You know like "murder of crows" - what is a herd of children?
GAT: A twat. A twat of children.
GAT: Hey! There's a fly on me. It can stay.
GAT: I've just had a brilliant idea, somewhere between communist propaganda and an American election poster. "Who can? Genghis Khan!"
MD: I don't know how to spell "Genghis Khan".
GAT: K-H-A-N
MD: I know that. I don't know how to spell "Genghis".
GAT: You should get a horn. That'd work.
MD: I don't think that'd work for JM.
GAT: Oh well. There are always civilian casualties.
[Re: British weather etc]
AJZ: I can't believe people started a country here.
[Re: some forum website]
GAT: Every question is answered by someone who sounds like they have a PhD in everything.
GAT: "Hand wash and Kosher Waffle Land"... WHAT?!
[Re: ruining pony visits]
GAT: Yes. I'm sabotaging shit because I don't like efficiency.
GAT: There's a penis on the table and I didn't even draw it. It just appeared off its own accord.
[Not sure of context or author.]
I'm going to die of betes two years ago.
[Re: Trying to wiggle coconut up from waist to face. Impossible!]
JM: Yes. Blame the coconut.
[Re: deep fried Mars bar]
MD: Are you scared?
JM: No. I have you as a human shield.
MD: Not of the oil, of the Mars bar!
JM: Oh. No. I don't tend to be scared of chocolate bars.
[Re: girls of GoT]
GAT: There's the slightly chavy ginger Eskimo.
[Re: chinese lanterns being eaten by zoo animals]
SD: Glupie takie ptaki "O cos lezy! To zjem."
SD: Chyba nikt nie zdechl.
A: What's the dog got to do with four muffins?
S: It has a moustache?
[Re: M and JGHYB sleeping in the lounge]
JCV: We'll come down to blood and feathers.
GAT: Seriously, your job involves unwrapping hungover bears!
[Re: someone changing their baby's nappy in Sainsbury's.]
GAT: And it smells. Like shit. Like actual human shit!
Video: Adults go to work...
GAT: WHYYYY?!
GAT: So the moral of the story is "don't have threesomes with your prison friends".
[This story: http://www.upi.com/blog/2013/02/14/Man-stabbed-after-refusing-to-change-positions-during-threesome/1911360866370/]
GAT: And I will throw Japanese Yen about...
[I said tell me a story, as my recovering knee was almost re-breaking, was almost freezing to death with a twenty minute walk ahead of us through a British muddy countryside.]
GAT: Once upon a time there was a parallelogram...
GAT: It's a holiday house. Designed from designer magazines. Several inconsistent designer magazines.
M: I can get you a Schleich cat.
JB: I don't want a cat. I want a Schleich animal.
M: I can get you a Schleich animal, but it's gonna be a cat.
GAT: Quick! Google wombat poo!
MD: I'm already doing it!
[Just a sign.]
"Safe children's play area.
Bikers welcome."
GAT: Also a drawful of spoons just became a drawful of like 35 people
[Re: male purpose/ego]
GAT: We don't have tigers anymore. We're down to jars.
A: I'm surprised you're a comic.
DC: Why? Do you not think that I'm funny?
MD: Tatusiu, dlaczego lapales kurczaki?
SD: A tak dla zabawy.
GAT: What? Drug dealers aren't allowed strippers?
MD: No.
GAT: You racist!
GAT: No. I don't listen to organs.
MD: You know like "murder of crows" - what is a herd of children?
GAT: A twat. A twat of children.
GAT: Hey! There's a fly on me. It can stay.
GAT: I've just had a brilliant idea, somewhere between communist propaganda and an American election poster. "Who can? Genghis Khan!"
MD: I don't know how to spell "Genghis Khan".
GAT: K-H-A-N
MD: I know that. I don't know how to spell "Genghis".
GAT: You should get a horn. That'd work.
MD: I don't think that'd work for JM.
GAT: Oh well. There are always civilian casualties.
[Re: British weather etc]
AJZ: I can't believe people started a country here.
[Re: some forum website]
GAT: Every question is answered by someone who sounds like they have a PhD in everything.
GAT: "Hand wash and Kosher Waffle Land"... WHAT?!
[Re: ruining pony visits]
GAT: Yes. I'm sabotaging shit because I don't like efficiency.
GAT: There's a penis on the table and I didn't even draw it. It just appeared off its own accord.
[Not sure of context or author.]
I'm going to die of betes two years ago.
[Re: Trying to wiggle coconut up from waist to face. Impossible!]
JM: Yes. Blame the coconut.
[Re: deep fried Mars bar]
MD: Are you scared?
JM: No. I have you as a human shield.
MD: Not of the oil, of the Mars bar!
JM: Oh. No. I don't tend to be scared of chocolate bars.
[Re: girls of GoT]
GAT: There's the slightly chavy ginger Eskimo.
[Re: chinese lanterns being eaten by zoo animals]
SD: Glupie takie ptaki "O cos lezy! To zjem."
SD: Chyba nikt nie zdechl.
A: What's the dog got to do with four muffins?
S: It has a moustache?
[Re: M and JGHYB sleeping in the lounge]
JCV: We'll come down to blood and feathers.
GAT: Seriously, your job involves unwrapping hungover bears!
[Re: someone changing their baby's nappy in Sainsbury's.]
GAT: And it smells. Like shit. Like actual human shit!
Video: Adults go to work...
GAT: WHYYYY?!
GAT: So the moral of the story is "don't have threesomes with your prison friends".
[This story: http://www.upi.com/blog/2013/02/14/Man-stabbed-after-refusing-to-change-positions-during-threesome/1911360866370/]
GAT: And I will throw Japanese Yen about...
[I said tell me a story, as my recovering knee was almost re-breaking, was almost freezing to death with a twenty minute walk ahead of us through a British muddy countryside.]
GAT: Once upon a time there was a parallelogram...
GAT: It's a holiday house. Designed from designer magazines. Several inconsistent designer magazines.
M: I can get you a Schleich cat.
JB: I don't want a cat. I want a Schleich animal.
M: I can get you a Schleich animal, but it's gonna be a cat.
GAT: Quick! Google wombat poo!
MD: I'm already doing it!
[Just a sign.]
"Safe children's play area.
Bikers welcome."
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