And, at the same time, my beautiful Swan writing book :)
XR: He's a man... A ginger man...
In unison: BUT A MAN NONETHELESS!
About William not getting a ring, and pondering about the Royal Wedding Edition cock rings.
XR: There are about a thousand guys our there going LAD!!!
About the choir boys.
MD: Which one of these kids do you think is getting the most action from the priests?
XR: I knew this question was coming that's why I gave you an inappropriate look... But the second one I think...
MD: Yeah I know! I was gonna say...
In unison: I WOULD!!!
[Misses out inappropriate quote... Just fmi]
[Apparently. I do NOT remember this! Hopefully context to follow?]
MD: I wish I was a man!
XR: You knocked over Newton with a British flag! Oh the irony!
XR: He's wearing a crown! This kid should be beheaded!!!
MD: My mouth has a filling capacity!
XR: Reeeeeally?
MD: One of the policemen looks really hot.
XR: Like sexy or not coping well with the heat?
Stealing my notebook.
MD: Give it back!
XR: I already gave it to you once!
MD: GIVE IT TO ME AGAIN!!!
Placard from the wedding:
'Check-mate Kate - you've taken the King'
TV: I think Kate is the next Diana.
XR: What, she's gonna die?!
[Unsure] Enjoy!
MD: Enjoy my ASS!
[This quote is even funnier given that XR, in an attempt to write it, misspelt the word 'ass' four times! Epic fail xD]
Re: the tornado.
News: Almost 300 people have died...
MD: AT THE WEDDING?! :|
RE: my heart.
XR: Now I know you have a MASSIVE one!
XR's card 'Malt...aged 21' - he told me that whiskey is usually 16, 18, 21, and then 30, 40 etc, and I said it's because they wanted to buy good whiskey cards which said how old they were, and cards don't come with 22, 23, 24...etc.
MD: Hallmark killed whiskey!
XR: When you cut William he blues bleeds...
XR: That's terrifying! You look like you're about to each children!
From Poirot. Re: nuns.
'Bloody vampires in drag, quite frankly'
XR: I don't think Arnold Schwarzenegger can be any more religious... No, what?! Ridiculous!
Poirot:
'Earlier you had killed a goat'
Re: hats on Poirot [think Apu or museum guy in The Mummy]
XR: What are these hats called?
MD: Upside down bins?
XR: Mein Kampf II...
MD: THE SEQUEL!!!
Re: Marx's grave
MD: Will you go with me? Will you will you will you?
XR: Are you just gonna fall asleep when we get there?
XR: When I went to a concentration camp in Germany...
XR: You know you've screwed up when you don't want to do Physics.♥
Saturday, 30 April 2011
30/04/2011 Dolphins
About my being a badass dolphin.
JTA: not necessarily a member of high society but still dignified in your general badassery
Gossip Girl:
"What's the point of having a kingdom if you have to reign alone."
JTA: not necessarily a member of high society but still dignified in your general badassery
Gossip Girl:
"What's the point of having a kingdom if you have to reign alone."
Friday, 29 April 2011
29/04/2011 Immigrant Mice
In the midst of a relentless night of mouse-hunting, I asked AZ if I could take some flags for the Royal Wedding celebrations.
AZ: Do you think these mice are immigrants?
MD: ?
AZ: Think you're gonna scare them away with patriotism?
AZ: Do you think these mice are immigrants?
MD: ?
AZ: Think you're gonna scare them away with patriotism?
Thursday, 28 April 2011
28/04/2011 Recession
AZ: You know Nigela? She sometimes doesn't wear underwear just because... I understand recession..but really?
ANH: If I was sitting next to some woman and suddenly heard 'Bzzzzz' I'd be like "AT LEAST TAKE OFF YOUR BRA!".
ANH: And they shot down Rose...
MD: Oh, is it a boy or a girl?
ANH: It's a boy...
MD: Oh OK... WAIT WHAT?!
ANH: If I was sitting next to some woman and suddenly heard 'Bzzzzz' I'd be like "AT LEAST TAKE OFF YOUR BRA!".
ANH: And they shot down Rose...
MD: Oh, is it a boy or a girl?
ANH: It's a boy...
MD: Oh OK... WAIT WHAT?!
Wednesday, 27 April 2011
27/04/2011 Mousefeet
About glue-traps.
MWT: goodluck with your mousefeet. Enjoy trying to find the rest of it. ♥
Spelling.
MD: How would you spell boodoom boom tsch?
AZ: Budumbum-
MD: In english?
MD: Can you tell me what you think of this song? *quietly to self* Oh, except my iTunes shut down.. so in 12 days...
AZ: It comes up with 12 days of christmas?
MD: Huh?
AZ: What's the name? 12 days?
... ¬_¬
MWT: goodluck with your mousefeet. Enjoy trying to find the rest of it. ♥
Spelling.
MD: How would you spell boodoom boom tsch?
AZ: Budumbum-
MD: In english?
MD: Can you tell me what you think of this song? *quietly to self* Oh, except my iTunes shut down.. so in 12 days...
AZ: It comes up with 12 days of christmas?
MD: Huh?
AZ: What's the name? 12 days?
... ¬_¬
Tuesday, 26 April 2011
26/04/2011 Rotting animals
Re: the mouse hunt and poison.
PMA: a gnijące zwierzęta pachną niefajnie
Furthermore,
PMA, on the grandeur of his name:
tak brzmi
wiesz
piotr marek andrzejewski
as opposed to
say
zdzisław konewka
JF: Try to get some sleep
MD: im not sleeping in this mofoing zoo!
On squirrels.
PMA: bo taka ładna w ogrodzie była
ruda
nie tak jak te tutaj
jakieś szare fake wiewiórki ♥
czipsy ze śmieci wpierniczają
MD: Recession jest!!
PMA: recession my ass
AZ watching Masterchef.
AZ: In case you didn't know, the whole of Australian culture is based around the culture of food.
...
MD: I thought it was around the culture of convicts?
AZ: Yeah, or like, you know, desert, dingos, kangaroos...The whole thing. But no. It's food. Because they cooked a kangaroo.
About re-charging life.
AZ: Just stick a cable up your ass and recharge, i mean...
Russel Howard, on time travel and Justin Bieber.
We don't want you having a baby! Baby? Baby! Oh!
AZ: Maybe we should leave out mouse porn for them?
PMA: a gnijące zwierzęta pachną niefajnie
Furthermore,
PMA, on the grandeur of his name:
tak brzmi
wiesz
piotr marek andrzejewski
as opposed to
say
zdzisław konewka
JF: Try to get some sleep
MD: im not sleeping in this mofoing zoo!
On squirrels.
PMA: bo taka ładna w ogrodzie była
ruda
nie tak jak te tutaj
jakieś szare fake wiewiórki ♥
czipsy ze śmieci wpierniczają
MD: Recession jest!!
PMA: recession my ass
AZ watching Masterchef.
AZ: In case you didn't know, the whole of Australian culture is based around the culture of food.
...
MD: I thought it was around the culture of convicts?
AZ: Yeah, or like, you know, desert, dingos, kangaroos...The whole thing. But no. It's food. Because they cooked a kangaroo.
About re-charging life.
AZ: Just stick a cable up your ass and recharge, i mean...
Russel Howard, on time travel and Justin Bieber.
We don't want you having a baby! Baby? Baby! Oh!
AZ: Maybe we should leave out mouse porn for them?
Backtrack. 18.19/04/2011
Apparently from 18th or 19th? And the file was called 'Intentions'
AZ: You can see the duck! xD
Joint effort: The candle, the hidden duck and the toilet paper.
MD: That would be a terrible film...worse than Scots Abroad!
AZ: WORSE THAN EWOK!
MD: How do you kick people out of the house? Not you, obviously, if i kicked you out you'd just come back in!
Talking about an ambiguous situation with a guy. After explaining the whole story...
XR: So what is your question? You just told me a story...
[No context. Or author. Nothing.] Peter Jackson was slated cause his monkey kept changing size.
AZ: You can see the duck! xD
Joint effort: The candle, the hidden duck and the toilet paper.
MD: That would be a terrible film...worse than Scots Abroad!
AZ: WORSE THAN EWOK!
MD: How do you kick people out of the house? Not you, obviously, if i kicked you out you'd just come back in!
Talking about an ambiguous situation with a guy. After explaining the whole story...
XR: So what is your question? You just told me a story...
[No context. Or author. Nothing.] Peter Jackson was slated cause his monkey kept changing size.
26/04/2011 The Fairbridge Mouse Hunt
Hopefully in the correct order [I will add to it as the situation progresses].
First off, me and AZ kept hearing weird noises. Especially behind the fridge. We just assumed we were a bit mad.
Then, after I came back from seeing CWB, fairly tipsy, I sat on my sofa and types ferociously about nothing in particular. As I looked up at AZ and said 'I hate mice!' [meaning laptop mice], I saw a black shape flicker in front of me near my drawers. I shook my head and stared, making AZ all weirded out. I then looked back to my screen and, having been asked to repeat what I said, I said, again 'I hate mice', looked up, and the black shape flickered again. I genuinely thought I was going mental. I started counting how many drinks I had and even hypothesising as to what the hell could have been in those drinks! Then, as I was on the brink of turning myself into a padded cell, and AZ on the brink of helping me get there, a mouse, now known as Muffin, appeared in the middle of my room. Playing it cool as ever, I sprung up onto the sofa yelling. It ran off.
We then set up two cameras to capture near the fridge.
The recordings took about 40 mins. After about half an hour passed [closed doors, fairly quiet conditions] I heard 'Ummm...Miiiilz... Oohhhhh!' I came to AZ's room, to see her cowering on her bed, and yattering on about it being in her room. I threw a pencil at where the mouse was, which lured it out and made it run under the fridge.
Upon closer inspection of the videos, Muffin was seen twice, lurking near the fridge, while the mouse from AZ's room, only made one appearance as she legged it from the room under the fridge. She is now known as Coco. [There are, of course, speculations about it being a fast-breeding family, rather than two innocent girly mice; it's OK - we've enough 'Crunchy' peanut butter to feed a whole herd!]
Convinced that mice in real life are just like ghosts in the film 'Skeleton Key' we poured salt along our doorways to repel the damn rodents. It didn't work. We also placed cloths dipped in fabric softener there to repel them. This, also, did not work. The next morning my cloth was moved and the salt line had paw prints in it. Grrreat!
Next came the day of my epic mouse trap idea, whereby I attached a piece of string to a can of hair mousse which held up a shoe box, under which was a muffin and some Fruit'n'Fibre. This did not work either, as I lurked for an hour, watching Chicken Run on mute and with subtitles, and neither bitch reappeared.
AZ's Easter Sunday was not so dandy. Apparently there were noises, and the peanut butter from the actual trap I bought was gone and the trap did not work. Also, as she was sitting on my floor, one ran past her and hid under my drawers. [I wonder what is so curious back there?] We also planned a glue trap, which involved putting super-glue all over a piece of card with peanut butter in the centre. This may have temporarily worked, but AZ was too much of a wuss to go check it out when she heard squealing. The sleepless nights they've caused me - I'll kill them with my bare hands if I can get my hands on them!
And today, morning of the 26th, I'm sat in my room. Typing away. Looking around, scared of my own shadow, guarding the fort. We set up another glue trap, and XR put more peanut butter on the actual trap, but I think the glue is now dry and the trap is meant for rats.
I keep remembering what Tom the Handyman told us - be thankful that there are mice, because that means that there are no rats because they'd eat them.
Right. And do you think the rats won't realise that there are mice here and come over and eat them? Come now...
Alright. Well. That's the mouse hunt so far. I'm hoping that the next report I'll have will be 'Both Muffin and Coco are dead'n'gone - woo!' This, however, seems unlikely given how poor our mouse-catching skills are. We shall see.
On the 29th April 2011, Muffin was captured into the Big Cheese mouse trap.
I was not here to witness the bloodshed, but feel kinda responsible, as I set up the trap. AZ also took pictures to show me. Nice...
We are now Coco hunting, using 5 smaller traps arranged around the side of the fridge. Bring it on Coco [who, by the way, keeps on appearing under the fridge and making chewing noises!]! BRING. IT. ON.
First off, me and AZ kept hearing weird noises. Especially behind the fridge. We just assumed we were a bit mad.
Then, after I came back from seeing CWB, fairly tipsy, I sat on my sofa and types ferociously about nothing in particular. As I looked up at AZ and said 'I hate mice!' [meaning laptop mice], I saw a black shape flicker in front of me near my drawers. I shook my head and stared, making AZ all weirded out. I then looked back to my screen and, having been asked to repeat what I said, I said, again 'I hate mice', looked up, and the black shape flickered again. I genuinely thought I was going mental. I started counting how many drinks I had and even hypothesising as to what the hell could have been in those drinks! Then, as I was on the brink of turning myself into a padded cell, and AZ on the brink of helping me get there, a mouse, now known as Muffin, appeared in the middle of my room. Playing it cool as ever, I sprung up onto the sofa yelling. It ran off.
We then set up two cameras to capture near the fridge.
The recordings took about 40 mins. After about half an hour passed [closed doors, fairly quiet conditions] I heard 'Ummm...Miiiilz... Oohhhhh!' I came to AZ's room, to see her cowering on her bed, and yattering on about it being in her room. I threw a pencil at where the mouse was, which lured it out and made it run under the fridge.
Upon closer inspection of the videos, Muffin was seen twice, lurking near the fridge, while the mouse from AZ's room, only made one appearance as she legged it from the room under the fridge. She is now known as Coco. [There are, of course, speculations about it being a fast-breeding family, rather than two innocent girly mice; it's OK - we've enough 'Crunchy' peanut butter to feed a whole herd!]
Convinced that mice in real life are just like ghosts in the film 'Skeleton Key' we poured salt along our doorways to repel the damn rodents. It didn't work. We also placed cloths dipped in fabric softener there to repel them. This, also, did not work. The next morning my cloth was moved and the salt line had paw prints in it. Grrreat!
Next came the day of my epic mouse trap idea, whereby I attached a piece of string to a can of hair mousse which held up a shoe box, under which was a muffin and some Fruit'n'Fibre. This did not work either, as I lurked for an hour, watching Chicken Run on mute and with subtitles, and neither bitch reappeared.
AZ's Easter Sunday was not so dandy. Apparently there were noises, and the peanut butter from the actual trap I bought was gone and the trap did not work. Also, as she was sitting on my floor, one ran past her and hid under my drawers. [I wonder what is so curious back there?] We also planned a glue trap, which involved putting super-glue all over a piece of card with peanut butter in the centre. This may have temporarily worked, but AZ was too much of a wuss to go check it out when she heard squealing. The sleepless nights they've caused me - I'll kill them with my bare hands if I can get my hands on them!
And today, morning of the 26th, I'm sat in my room. Typing away. Looking around, scared of my own shadow, guarding the fort. We set up another glue trap, and XR put more peanut butter on the actual trap, but I think the glue is now dry and the trap is meant for rats.
I keep remembering what Tom the Handyman told us - be thankful that there are mice, because that means that there are no rats because they'd eat them.
Right. And do you think the rats won't realise that there are mice here and come over and eat them? Come now...
Alright. Well. That's the mouse hunt so far. I'm hoping that the next report I'll have will be 'Both Muffin and Coco are dead'n'gone - woo!' This, however, seems unlikely given how poor our mouse-catching skills are. We shall see.
On the 29th April 2011, Muffin was captured into the Big Cheese mouse trap.
I was not here to witness the bloodshed, but feel kinda responsible, as I set up the trap. AZ also took pictures to show me. Nice...
We are now Coco hunting, using 5 smaller traps arranged around the side of the fridge. Bring it on Coco [who, by the way, keeps on appearing under the fridge and making chewing noises!]! BRING. IT. ON.
Monday, 25 April 2011
25/04/2011 A cat.
Charlie Brooker, The Guardian:
With not long to go until the AV referendum, the waters are muddier than ever. It's confusing. One minute the anti-camp claims a vote for AV would benefit the BNP. Then the pro-camp counters by pointing out the BNP are against AV. Therefore no matter what the outcome, Nick Griffin will both win and lose simultaneously. He'll exist in an uncertain quantum state. Like Schrödinger's cat. I say "cat". I originally used another word starting with c and ending with t, but the Guardian asked me to change it. Suffice to say, Griffin is a massive cat.
Jaroslaw Kaczynski: Dżej-bezef-Kej xD
When I screamed and she opened the door. I informed her that I did not say 'coh-coh'.
AZ: You dont control things coming out of your mouth when you see a mouse!
Jaroslaw Kaczynski: Dżej-bezef-Kej xD
When I screamed and she opened the door. I informed her that I did not say 'coh-coh'.
AZ: You dont control things coming out of your mouth when you see a mouse!
ADW sent me the weirdest youtube clip I've ever seen. Called:
VIRALPOP: Zombie George Washington Rides Nyan Cat
Err. Just. What?!
About Prince William.
KJH: my mother served him potatoes. YEAH.
MD: WHATWHY?! WHY WAS HE EATING POTATOES?
KJH: ...he occassionally likes to feel poor sometimes so he eats potatoes. I dont know!
About Roux.
AZ: Do you know he calls me a Wise Nymph?
About people saying 'goodnight' and not logging off fbk.
AZ: It's like me going 'OK, I'm going to sleep <no one moves> OOOK then!'
Just a little banter.
AZ: Cause all these guys think you don't have a life! 'Really you wouldn't want to go out with me?'
MD: BUT WE SPOKE ON FACEBOOK! xD
Err. Just. What?!
About Prince William.
KJH: my mother served him potatoes. YEAH.
MD: WHATWHY?! WHY WAS HE EATING POTATOES?
KJH: ...he occassionally likes to feel poor sometimes so he eats potatoes. I dont know!
About Roux.
AZ: Do you know he calls me a Wise Nymph?
About people saying 'goodnight' and not logging off fbk.
AZ: It's like me going 'OK, I'm going to sleep <no one moves> OOOK then!'
Just a little banter.
AZ: Cause all these guys think you don't have a life! 'Really you wouldn't want to go out with me?'
MD: BUT WE SPOKE ON FACEBOOK! xD
25/04/2011 LLAMA
Contestant for quote of the month [♥]. Made me laugh to NO end.
AZ: 'oh and here goes the fucking llama' ♥
AZ: 'oh and here goes the fucking llama' ♥
Sunday, 24 April 2011
24/04/2011
Watching Master Chef.
SD: Jak mozna gotowac mieso w Coca Coli? :(
SD fighting off a wasp.
TSD: O kurde, ale zaraz kogos dziobnie!
MD: Poleciala do dzieci, jest ok!
TSD: Snilo mi sie tsunami. Ale takie malutkie.
MD and SD exchange a look of 'I'll take this one'.
MD: Czyli snila ci sie fala?
SD falling asleep after some shit programme called 'Pitbull' was on TV. Adverts.
MD: Tatusiu, idz spac.
SD: NIE! JESZCZE JEDEN PITBULL JEST!!
SD: Jak mozna gotowac mieso w Coca Coli? :(
SD fighting off a wasp.
TSD: O kurde, ale zaraz kogos dziobnie!
MD: Poleciala do dzieci, jest ok!
TSD: Snilo mi sie tsunami. Ale takie malutkie.
MD and SD exchange a look of 'I'll take this one'.
MD: Czyli snila ci sie fala?
SD falling asleep after some shit programme called 'Pitbull' was on TV. Adverts.
MD: Tatusiu, idz spac.
SD: NIE! JESZCZE JEDEN PITBULL JEST!!
Saturday, 23 April 2011
23/04/2011 Important.
CYFRA+, when flicking through channels:
Krwawa niedziela
JTA: I was trying to nail a girl who loved Bambi
From some lame-looking film with Buffy in. From what I gather, a guy who hasn't spoken in ages just got talked into speaking by her and whispers:
"I think you may be important to me."
Iss just soo purrty :)
Also - I totally forgot to mention the guy on the coach!
I got on, huffing and puffing as I had to run and barely made it, and he stared at me funny, which, I suppose given the circumstances was totally acceptable - I was a right mess! But then, shortly after we departed Victoria, he put his bag on his lap, and his hands under his bag and started shaking funny.
After quite a while, the shaking intensified and then quickly stopped.
His face said it all too.
Just. OMG really.
And the guy sitting in front of me dropped a crisp on the floor [of a National Express coach! Ew.] and then picked it up and ate it. Duuude!!
Krwawa niedziela
JTA: I was trying to nail a girl who loved Bambi
From some lame-looking film with Buffy in. From what I gather, a guy who hasn't spoken in ages just got talked into speaking by her and whispers:
"I think you may be important to me."
Iss just soo purrty :)
Also - I totally forgot to mention the guy on the coach!
I got on, huffing and puffing as I had to run and barely made it, and he stared at me funny, which, I suppose given the circumstances was totally acceptable - I was a right mess! But then, shortly after we departed Victoria, he put his bag on his lap, and his hands under his bag and started shaking funny.
After quite a while, the shaking intensified and then quickly stopped.
His face said it all too.
Just. OMG really.
And the guy sitting in front of me dropped a crisp on the floor [of a National Express coach! Ew.] and then picked it up and ate it. Duuude!!
Day paedophile* ponderings.
I just thought of the phrase 'the day is wayy too young for me', which is legitimate, if not a little chavy, and wondered why no-one, and by no-one I mean someone very specific from W, has not yet made the joke about not being a day paedophile?
*Disclaimer: No ACTUAL paedophilic content here! Good god :|
*Disclaimer: No ACTUAL paedophilic content here! Good god :|
Friday, 22 April 2011
22/04/2011 Of words.
A little bit about words.
My favourite ever is 'duchess'. I like to think it's because of the poem, but I can't be sure.
I also really used to like 'twilight' until the saga. Also, DB's favourite, 'silhouette' is kinda awesome!
The reason for this post - I remembered the word 'kawiarenka' in Polish, and fell in love with it all over again. Probably because of the terrifying story my grandma used to tell me when I was little. [Which, by the way, I just deduced was the reason for why my grandma's house always features in my nightmares!]
On the other hand, my least favourite words are 'chunk' and 'necessity'. Stupid 'ch' sound, and repetition of c's and s's in weird places!
My favourite ever is 'duchess'. I like to think it's because of the poem, but I can't be sure.
I also really used to like 'twilight' until the saga. Also, DB's favourite, 'silhouette' is kinda awesome!
The reason for this post - I remembered the word 'kawiarenka' in Polish, and fell in love with it all over again. Probably because of the terrifying story my grandma used to tell me when I was little. [Which, by the way, I just deduced was the reason for why my grandma's house always features in my nightmares!]
On the other hand, my least favourite words are 'chunk' and 'necessity'. Stupid 'ch' sound, and repetition of c's and s's in weird places!
22/04/2011 Possum?
AZ: DC text me yesterday saying mumbo jumbo. KURWA SPIERDALAJ!
Talking about O's towel drying.
Talking about O's towel drying.
[What I heard] AZ: Like this *scrubs* like a possum!
Oh, she actually said 'flossing'!! xD
Also, re: XR's claim that someone was once voted the hottest woman of 2001.
MD: Was it Brittany Murphy?
AZ: Probably voted her with AV...
MD: What do you think the most offensive you can POSSIBLY think of is? *AZ - blank stare* Did I put a noun in that sentence?
AZ: Oh yeah, that's like when I went to this experiment thingy when I went to this experiment thingy.
¬_¬
About some wailing drunk people.
AZ: I hope they die. And I will not regret it if they actually die.
AZ: Was it Aristotle who said something like 'You never walk into the same river twice'?
MD: ¬_¬ No, it was Pocahontas.
About an nk photo.
Comment: Jakie dwa urocze zajaczki :)
MD: Kurwa spierdalaj lezbijko!
Out of the blue!
AZ: I have really weird thoughts in my head.
About those creepy spam ads.
AZ: Oh, but, Russian girls looking for men in my area!
MD: I'm sorry honey, you just don't have what it takes - a penis.
AZ <sheepishly>: But three people in my area want to date me :)
About Muffin the mouse.
AZ: I want it to die in front of my very eyes!!
MD: What do you think the most offensive you can POSSIBLY think of is? *AZ - blank stare* Did I put a noun in that sentence?
AZ: Oh yeah, that's like when I went to this experiment thingy when I went to this experiment thingy.
¬_¬
About some wailing drunk people.
AZ: I hope they die. And I will not regret it if they actually die.
AZ: Was it Aristotle who said something like 'You never walk into the same river twice'?
MD: ¬_¬ No, it was Pocahontas.
About an nk photo.
Comment: Jakie dwa urocze zajaczki :)
MD: Kurwa spierdalaj lezbijko!
Out of the blue!
AZ: I have really weird thoughts in my head.
About those creepy spam ads.
AZ: Oh, but, Russian girls looking for men in my area!
MD: I'm sorry honey, you just don't have what it takes - a penis.
AZ <sheepishly>: But three people in my area want to date me :)
About Muffin the mouse.
AZ: I want it to die in front of my very eyes!!
21/04/2011 El Toro.
Some fabulous times with TJEW and XR.
Story time.
TJEW: Ok, so there were these Russian guys, and they got totally pissed...*XR bursts out laughing!* I haven't even started yet!
Re: AZ's flimsy wrists.
XR: We decided she'd be great at masturbating other men.
TJEW: I'll probably just end up as a lawyer.
MD: Nyaww, you poor thing! 'My tiara is falling down and my diamond shoes are too small! :'( '
*silence*
Re: shanking. [also - 'cranking' is a good term, no?]
TJEW: The fundamental question is - why not just flush?!
XR: Can we eat El Toro later? ...NOT in a sexual way!!!
After a double shot of disguisting tequila.
XR: Are you a Mexi-can or Mexi-can't?!
TJEW *tamely*: I'm definitely a Mexi-can't now...
TJEW comes back from getting a drink; XR: Well, this is difficult... Take my seat! ... I forgot... *leaves again*
???
XR: El Toro, your reputation precedes you!
TJEW: Yes, by about 18 inches.
The beginning of the worst New Year's Eve tale ever!
TJEW: On our way there I realised I needed a shit. It was 10 o'clock.
Context missing?
TJEW: That's just crossing the line...
XR and MD in unison: EL TORO HAS A LINE?!?!
Having been judged for asking for vodka and cranberry juice.
XR: Fine, get me a vodka and man juice!
About TJEW's school experiences and/or WWII.
"If we do anything we'll be touching his cock!"
XR's spelling: N for Necromancer
TJEW's initials: TJEW
Ummmm....
[10/09/11 - I just went around correcting all the 'TWs' into 'TJEWs' and now I realize my past-self knew about this and just ignored it. STUPID PAST ME!]
Trying to convince me to drink gin and tonic.
XR: But it prevents malaria!
TJEW: One of UK's biggest concerns...
As XR approaches the table with a shot of tequila.
MD: What the hell?!
XR: It's El Toro! I bought him tequila!!!
TJEW: OK. You do know I'm not actually Mexican?
Story time.
TJEW: Ok, so there were these Russian guys, and they got totally pissed...*XR bursts out laughing!* I haven't even started yet!
Re: AZ's flimsy wrists.
XR: We decided she'd be great at masturbating other men.
TJEW: I'll probably just end up as a lawyer.
MD: Nyaww, you poor thing! 'My tiara is falling down and my diamond shoes are too small! :'( '
*silence*
Re: shanking. [also - 'cranking' is a good term, no?]
TJEW: The fundamental question is - why not just flush?!
XR: Can we eat El Toro later? ...NOT in a sexual way!!!
After a double shot of disguisting tequila.
XR: Are you a Mexi-can or Mexi-can't?!
TJEW *tamely*: I'm definitely a Mexi-can't now...
TJEW comes back from getting a drink; XR: Well, this is difficult... Take my seat! ... I forgot... *leaves again*
???
XR: El Toro, your reputation precedes you!
TJEW: Yes, by about 18 inches.
The beginning of the worst New Year's Eve tale ever!
TJEW: On our way there I realised I needed a shit. It was 10 o'clock.
Context missing?
TJEW: That's just crossing the line...
XR and MD in unison: EL TORO HAS A LINE?!?!
Having been judged for asking for vodka and cranberry juice.
XR: Fine, get me a vodka and man juice!
About TJEW's school experiences and/or WWII.
"If we do anything we'll be touching his cock!"
XR's spelling: N for Necromancer
TJEW's initials: TJEW
Ummmm....
[10/09/11 - I just went around correcting all the 'TWs' into 'TJEWs' and now I realize my past-self knew about this and just ignored it. STUPID PAST ME!]
Trying to convince me to drink gin and tonic.
XR: But it prevents malaria!
TJEW: One of UK's biggest concerns...
As XR approaches the table with a shot of tequila.
MD: What the hell?!
XR: It's El Toro! I bought him tequila!!!
TJEW: OK. You do know I'm not actually Mexican?
Thursday, 21 April 2011
Vinegar.
Just a story that I desperately must remember.
Me and DHC went out birthday present shopping for AZ. As I was leaving the house, I asked if there was anything she wanted me to buy. She said we need a bottle of vinegar to clean the drains.
Me and DHC hopped to her workplace, and wanted to collaborate with her freaky boss. Convo:
A: Do you see her a lot? Do you go out a lot?
MD: *smoothly* No! I never see her :( In fact, I only spoke to her to ask if she needed anything bought, and she said 'Vinegar' and I left.
A: WHY? Why does she want vinegar?!
MD: She wants to clean something.. The drain.. I don't really know.
*end of this convo*
From my pov:
I go shopping. I buy her lots of nice stuff. I go to my study. Mind my own business for a few hours. Go home. Get home - she lashes out at me as soon as I walk through the door.
AZ: What's with the vinegar?!
MD: Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry! I totally forgot!
AZ: No, that's OK. But what's with the texts?!
MD: ...Huh? ;/
From her pov:
[Back story: all of AZ's phone numbers got erased, so she didn't have anyone's number]
I leave the house. Suddenly she gets the text, bitching about the vinegar, sarcastically saying things like 'I'll get you a cleaner' etc. Gets passive-aggressive between 'Bitch what the hell?!' and ':( I just wanted some vinegar!'
I get home - she wants explanation as to what the hell the texts were all about.
So here I am, all sheepish and wtf-ed, and she's annoyed and confused.
Turns out - her genius boss decided to text her weird, sarcastic things about the conversation we'd just had, despite being asked not to tell her I was ever there.
Massive twit.
Me and DHC went out birthday present shopping for AZ. As I was leaving the house, I asked if there was anything she wanted me to buy. She said we need a bottle of vinegar to clean the drains.
Me and DHC hopped to her workplace, and wanted to collaborate with her freaky boss. Convo:
A: Do you see her a lot? Do you go out a lot?
MD: *smoothly* No! I never see her :( In fact, I only spoke to her to ask if she needed anything bought, and she said 'Vinegar' and I left.
A: WHY? Why does she want vinegar?!
MD: She wants to clean something.. The drain.. I don't really know.
*end of this convo*
From my pov:
I go shopping. I buy her lots of nice stuff. I go to my study. Mind my own business for a few hours. Go home. Get home - she lashes out at me as soon as I walk through the door.
AZ: What's with the vinegar?!
MD: Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry! I totally forgot!
AZ: No, that's OK. But what's with the texts?!
MD: ...Huh? ;/
From her pov:
[Back story: all of AZ's phone numbers got erased, so she didn't have anyone's number]
I leave the house. Suddenly she gets the text, bitching about the vinegar, sarcastically saying things like 'I'll get you a cleaner' etc. Gets passive-aggressive between 'Bitch what the hell?!' and ':( I just wanted some vinegar!'
I get home - she wants explanation as to what the hell the texts were all about.
So here I am, all sheepish and wtf-ed, and she's annoyed and confused.
Turns out - her genius boss decided to text her weird, sarcastic things about the conversation we'd just had, despite being asked not to tell her I was ever there.
Massive twit.
21/04/2011
Talking about fish, dolphins and vegetarianism.
AZ: And sharks go *swings from side to side* like fish. Because they are fish.
MD: I want to eat a sloth.
AZ: A sloth? What is a sloth? WAIT I'll Google it!
MD: *stares blankly; sarcastically:* What's a sloth?!
AZ: What is... Oh a SLOTH? WHAT?!
Po-nglish:
Kapabilny = capable
Testykulia = testicles [or, as my dad claims, 'jaja']
Przyjebedziesz = ...I don't even... In a sentence: 'To kiedy przyjebedziesz?'
Talking to my dad, he asked if I wanted anything specific cooked.
MD: ...I jeszcze osmiornice, konia i kurczaka nadziewanego sowa.
SD *very calmly*: OK, a teraz jeszcze raz powiedz ale na powaznie.
Cool word much!
AZ: Specificity
Although, actually, she said 'specifi-cifi...ficit-...specifitic-... SPECIFICITY!
Judging Jessica Biel. And most of the human race really.
MD: She looks really botoxed... She has a LOT of teeth!
AZ: You have a thing with teeth.
MD: You have a thing with noses!
AZ: Yeah, no, I'm just saying... We're discovering our things.
AZ: And sharks go *swings from side to side* like fish. Because they are fish.
MD: I want to eat a sloth.
AZ: A sloth? What is a sloth? WAIT I'll Google it!
MD: *stares blankly; sarcastically:* What's a sloth?!
AZ: What is... Oh a SLOTH? WHAT?!
Po-nglish:
Kapabilny = capable
Testykulia = testicles [or, as my dad claims, 'jaja']
Przyjebedziesz = ...I don't even... In a sentence: 'To kiedy przyjebedziesz?'
Talking to my dad, he asked if I wanted anything specific cooked.
MD: ...I jeszcze osmiornice, konia i kurczaka nadziewanego sowa.
SD *very calmly*: OK, a teraz jeszcze raz powiedz ale na powaznie.
Cool word much!
AZ: Specificity
Although, actually, she said 'specifi-cifi...ficit-...specifitic-... SPECIFICITY!
Judging Jessica Biel. And most of the human race really.
MD: She looks really botoxed... She has a LOT of teeth!
AZ: You have a thing with teeth.
MD: You have a thing with noses!
AZ: Yeah, no, I'm just saying... We're discovering our things.
Wednesday, 20 April 2011
20/04/2011
Don't Tell the Bride: The boys are at Rowanelle to marvell at their massive erection; teepees are going up.
Regarding the closure of all the uni facilities for just before the exams and dissertation deadlines!
AZ: Please, librarians dont have families!
Also, after a long chat with SR, about things that I've not done in my life, we've concluded that I have to go to a Royal Wedding Rubix-cube themed street party, with lots of lesbians and single guys. Awesome.
About Muffin the Mouse.
AZ: It's not going for the food. It's just sightseeing! Fucking hell...
About the naming of Muffin:
AZ: I'm so happy. It's gonna be a great name for the tombstone once we kill it.
Regarding the closure of all the uni facilities for just before the exams and dissertation deadlines!
AZ: Please, librarians dont have families!
Also, after a long chat with SR, about things that I've not done in my life, we've concluded that I have to go to a Royal Wedding Rubix-cube themed street party, with lots of lesbians and single guys. Awesome.
About Muffin the Mouse.
AZ: It's not going for the food. It's just sightseeing! Fucking hell...
About the naming of Muffin:
AZ: I'm so happy. It's gonna be a great name for the tombstone once we kill it.
Tuesday, 19 April 2011
19/04/2011 MRAUU!
About the previous day, and JCE meeting someone else.
AZ: "Ehh...I'm gonna die!"
"Ehh.. I'm sure you're too much of a gentleman to just die like that"
About some guy we don't know.
AZ: "Ehh...I'm gonna die!"
"Ehh.. I'm sure you're too much of a gentleman to just die like that"
About some guy we don't know.
AZ: He could be quite good looking if he lost some weight.. No cause I mean he has a symmetrical face. That’s what I'm basing this on... I’m not like MRAUU!
Later on, whilst at Starbucks with AZ and GLSB (a joke in itself??? Not him, the initials I mean!), I spotted the guy next to us was staring at us and judging. I tried to mouth it to AZ, but it didn't work, so I took out my phone and wrote (fairly efficiently)
'He's judging us soooo bad!!!'
A few minutes later, AZ wanted to get her point across too, so after she tried to mouth it, I passed her my phone. She was on it for about half an hour and came out with:
'Fuck him. Hes havin burger king'
Logic AND typing fail!
[Really from 20/04, but related] Discussing GLSB's initials... Then name. Especially in Welsh!
AZ: With Geraint it's like being called JAGNA!
Haha, talking about whether you should live your life according to the rules of the Bible or not. Also, whether Jesus would approve of gays and people who have sex before marriage etc.
CWB: I think Jesus was a cool cat...
Later on, whilst at Starbucks with AZ and GLSB (a joke in itself??? Not him, the initials I mean!), I spotted the guy next to us was staring at us and judging. I tried to mouth it to AZ, but it didn't work, so I took out my phone and wrote (fairly efficiently)
'He's judging us soooo bad!!!'
A few minutes later, AZ wanted to get her point across too, so after she tried to mouth it, I passed her my phone. She was on it for about half an hour and came out with:
'Fuck him. Hes havin burger king'
Logic AND typing fail!
[Really from 20/04, but related] Discussing GLSB's initials... Then name. Especially in Welsh!
AZ: With Geraint it's like being called JAGNA!
Haha, talking about whether you should live your life according to the rules of the Bible or not. Also, whether Jesus would approve of gays and people who have sex before marriage etc.
CWB: I think Jesus was a cool cat...
18/04/2011: The day the Earth stood awkwardly
AZ: You can see the duck! xD
Joint effort: The candle, the hidden duck and the toilet paper.
MD: That would be a terrible film...worse than Scots Abroad!
AZ: WORSE THAN EWOK!
MD: How do you kick people out of the house? Not you, obviously, if i kicked you out you'd just come back in!
Talking about an ambiguous situation with a guy. After explaining the whole story...
XR: So what is your question? You just told me a story...
MD: What are his intentions?
XR: His intentions are pretty obvious aren't they?
*crickets*
After hearing a loud scream outside.
XR (casually): Jamie is out on the prowl.
After discussing someone to do with AZ, who is 'loosely' like someone else to me...
XR: Alright. Bring it. I'm feeling in a loose mood.
My spazzy question. XR played the Casino Royale theme tune. I was going to ask what the name of the guy singing it was [Chris Cornell by the way]
MD: What's his gay?
I complained from rib pain.
XR: We need a medic!
*crickets*
Sunday, 17 April 2011
17/04/2011: Nicest Person fail et al
Talking to XR about having chosen AH as the 'nicest person'. XR made the point that he climbed a mountain to raise money 'for kidneys' [Meaning some kidney healthcare charity...]. I said that AH went to Africa to help children [Details unknown].
XR: I'd like to see those children without kidneys!
Bless them. They are probably on par. Or are they...
Furthermore,
AZ: Sorry, cause, I just asked you a question and then did everything possible not to hear the answer...
Convo:
MD: I've recently started to like the number 6 a lot.
AZ: Yeah? I've always liked it. For a really geeky reason.
MD: *expecting an equation* Oh? What is it?
AZ: It's the highest grade you can get in Poland.
...
I'm such a sad individual...
Talking about the incident of window stalking.
AWJ: witnesses prevent stabbings
...sometimes
Furthermore,
AZ: Sorry, cause, I just asked you a question and then did everything possible not to hear the answer...
Convo:
MD: I've recently started to like the number 6 a lot.
AZ: Yeah? I've always liked it. For a really geeky reason.
MD: *expecting an equation* Oh? What is it?
AZ: It's the highest grade you can get in Poland.
...
I'm such a sad individual...
Talking about the incident of window stalking.
AWJ: witnesses prevent stabbings
...sometimes
[15/04/2011: Awkwardness!]
While playing charades. Just a little awkwardness to add to the merriment!
XR: Audrey Tautou.
MD: Yeah, you and Mark really would get on...
XR: Yeah, in terms of our taste in women.
<crickets>
XR: Wait! No! ...
And also, intelligently:
[To XR] MD: Something tells me your don't really like blondes... Oh wait...
XR: Audrey Tautou.
MD: Yeah, you and Mark really would get on...
XR: Yeah, in terms of our taste in women.
<crickets>
XR: Wait! No! ...
And also, intelligently:
[To XR] MD: Something tells me your don't really like blondes... Oh wait...
Saturday, 16 April 2011
16/04/2011 Of Archaeological Terminology
AZ: And I was...wait..cause...um...
MD: In any language?
AZ: Noo, I want to use this word, cause it's good... Umm... It's to do with archaeology...
MD: Excavate?
AZ: Yes!!!
MD: In any language?
AZ: Noo, I want to use this word, cause it's good... Umm... It's to do with archaeology...
MD: Excavate?
AZ: Yes!!!
16/04/2011: I am a centaur!
Just a note to say that me and JF covered topics such as:
beastiality, Hitler, disability, centaur wheelchairs.
beastiality, Hitler, disability, centaur wheelchairs.
[15/04/2011] Star Wars
Playing charades with AZ and XR.
XR:
The first, is an animal that is a creation of George Lucas in the sixth Star Wars film, Return of the Jedi..
AZ: Jabba the Hut?!
MD: Monkey, racoon, meerkat??
XR: ...Have either of you seen Star Wars?
MD&AZ: No!!
XR [in a rage!]: THEN THIS IS POINTLESS!!!
A minute later...
XR: Ok, so you havent seen ANY Star Wars movies? Ok, so the third word was the fifth Star Wars movie..
Five minutes later...
The fifth word I can only imagine as a planet created by George Lucas!
Ewok..the battle for? [googles] Endor o.O
30mins later
MD: Guys, can I just ask you a question... Who's George Lucas?
XR:
The first, is an animal that is a creation of George Lucas in the sixth Star Wars film, Return of the Jedi..
AZ: Jabba the Hut?!
MD: Monkey, racoon, meerkat??
XR: ...Have either of you seen Star Wars?
MD&AZ: No!!
XR [in a rage!]: THEN THIS IS POINTLESS!!!
A minute later...
XR: Ok, so you havent seen ANY Star Wars movies? Ok, so the third word was the fifth Star Wars movie..
Five minutes later...
The fifth word I can only imagine as a planet created by George Lucas!
Ewok..the battle for? [googles] Endor o.O
30mins later
MD: Guys, can I just ask you a question... Who's George Lucas?
Friday, 15 April 2011
15/04/2011
Me and AZ were pestering XR to tell us a story. After a lot of distraction and pleading, he finally started:
XR: Alright...we were up North... MD: A'RIIITE! AZ: OOP NORTH!
Out of context I'm afraid, but I think we were trying to get off an awkward subject - including XR and MWT having the same taste in women, and XR not liking blondes...
XR: Anyway...ginger sluts...
Talking about JCE.
XR: "Scots Abroad"... that's a film I wouldn't see...
AZ got tagged as a jammie dodger by AH, and decided this meant that she was fat o.O
Since this is the first post, I have to catch up with some others.
"Yet in sleep there flows before my heart the memory of pain. Against our will we are taught restraint."
It's beautiful, simple, and true. Ahh, Aeschylus.
GG: 'Sometimes a queen has to make a choice: a castle with a white knight. Or a quest with a dark prince.'
Every little girl's dream quote? I think so.
AZ, and her views on dating Polish guys:
'I need the comfort that if I Ponglish something he'll still get what I mean'
And of course, my all time favourite, by R. Browning:
"She had
A heart . . . how shall I say? . . . too soon made glad,
Too easily impressed; she liked whate'er
She looked on, and her looks went everywhere."
..and, furthermore..:
..."Paint
Must never hope to reproduce the faint
Half-flush that dies along her throat"'
Other than the epic Star Wars conversation, more from charades!
AZ: What do Willy Wonka and a tumour have in common? Oompa loompa? LOL! no, he's close.
AZ: I don't like politics. Especially brothers.
MD: Flicker? AZ: NO the other one... XR: So there's two now?!
MD: A film with Will Smith which sounds rude? XR: Poo [AZ, MD: laughter] Oh no, I don't think he was in that film!
XR: Alright...we were up North... MD: A'RIIITE! AZ: OOP NORTH!
Out of context I'm afraid, but I think we were trying to get off an awkward subject - including XR and MWT having the same taste in women, and XR not liking blondes...
XR: Anyway...ginger sluts...
Talking about JCE.
XR: "Scots Abroad"... that's a film I wouldn't see...
AZ got tagged as a jammie dodger by AH, and decided this meant that she was fat o.O
Since this is the first post, I have to catch up with some others.
"Yet in sleep there flows before my heart the memory of pain. Against our will we are taught restraint."
It's beautiful, simple, and true. Ahh, Aeschylus.
GG: 'Sometimes a queen has to make a choice: a castle with a white knight. Or a quest with a dark prince.'
Every little girl's dream quote? I think so.
AZ, and her views on dating Polish guys:
'I need the comfort that if I Ponglish something he'll still get what I mean'
And of course, my all time favourite, by R. Browning:
"She had
A heart . . . how shall I say? . . . too soon made glad,
Too easily impressed; she liked whate'er
She looked on, and her looks went everywhere."
..and, furthermore..:
..."Paint
Must never hope to reproduce the faint
Half-flush that dies along her throat"'
Other than the epic Star Wars conversation, more from charades!
AZ: What do Willy Wonka and a tumour have in common? Oompa loompa? LOL! no, he's close.
AZ: I don't like politics. Especially brothers.
MD: Flicker? AZ: NO the other one... XR: So there's two now?!
MD: A film with Will Smith which sounds rude? XR: Poo [AZ, MD: laughter] Oh no, I don't think he was in that film!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)