This is unsustainable.

(The green-eyed monster? xD)
LDC:
Oh you PURPOSEFULLY went to The Volunteer?!

(Re: French Siri)
LDC: It sounds like a stroke victim...

(Logic???)
LDC: Do you know Sporcle?
MD: Yes. We played it last time you were here.
LDC: Yeah I know. That's why I asked you. But then I forgot.

LDC: People will literally buy anything, including nothing.

(Wtf?)
MD: The thing about lollipops... <LDC bursts out laughing>

LDC: That was a genuine compliment, not a two-faced compliment.

(Do YOU?!)
MD: I don't think there's a lesbian story. Unless you know something I don't...?
LDC: I don't, do you?
MD: No.

LDC: You'd be like "Why are you taking my pencil?". Because it was awkward. This is the "awkward pencil".

LDC: A mathematician without a piece of paper is basically a shell :(

- Oh! And a pen too!

LDC: NEW IMPROVED LOUIE WITH A PINEAPPLE!

(Re: Conversation loss.)

LDC: THIS IS UNSUSTAINABLE! 

[Caption:]

MD: One more time. You looked Chinese! ... Look!

LDC: That's my happy face!!!

(Re: Finding google doodle)

LDC: So was it just Google? <squeaky voice> OF COURSE it's just Google!!!

LDC: Your lampshade looks like an upside-down lampshade.

(Deep...)

MD: How do you feel about Spanish music?

LDC: ...I don't feel. 

[Caption: "This is humiliating"]

[Caption: "I think I look quite fetching."]

(Re: Box)

LDC: You could put paper clips in it. 

MD: I don't have any paper clips.

LDC: Well, get some paper clips! Jesus, woman!!!

(Reflection time...)

MD: ...But, pineapples are really fat.

LDC: HOW DARE YOU?!

Remind them to stfu.

(Re: climbing shoes.)
Maxi: Do you like my shoes?
MD: :/
Maxi: WHAT?! BOYS LIKE SHOES TOO!!!


(Re "chavy")
MD: He wasn't very nice...
Maxi: Probably because his buttplug was the wrong size!

(Between a rock and a...)
MD: Don't go. <hugs>
Maxi: I have to. They said they'd cut my left testicle off if I don't go.
MD: Alright. Then I'll cut off the right one if you do.
Maxi: ...Tricky stuff! <weighs up>
xD I love this guy!!

(Caption of a photo of a stuffed seagull in a welly!)
Nicki: "I had to put the seagull in a welly cos the vase has flowers in it."

AZ: Me and DHC were wondering if this is true or...if she's off her meds or something?


(Re: Coronet cinema & peasants)
Announcement: We would like to remind you that smoking is not permitted...
AZ: Remind them to shut the fuck up.

Hypnotist [Too random, even for me.]

Felicity:
x - Where you going?
N - Err... Hypnotist.
x - Oh ...You know, you said that like it was a normal answer.
N - Yeah, I know, I'll explain it to you on Tuesday.

MD: I was chirpy before you called me. I was drawing stick-men with buckets on their heads.
MDB: ON YOUR OWN?!
MD: No. I was in a group stick man drawing session.

[Context lost.]
Maxi: We came in 1952 and gave them a proper education.

Maxi: I've passed out. But I've never passed out IN PISS!

[Context lost. But it sounds intense.]
EC: I like Milz because Stonehenge was built by dinosaurs

MDB: I just need some Cold War love.


Ordering drinks at the pub. Ordered one coke, and one JD and coke.
Barman: I put the JD and coke in two cups.
DL: What?
Barman: I put the JD and coke in two cups.
DL: WHAT THE HELL?!
Barman: I said: I put the -
MD: It's OK. I got it! (Y)
DL: What???
MD: He put the JD and coke in two cups.
DL: OMG WHAT WHY?!
[Sheer panic attack. About nothing. xD]

[Having been criticised for sending one word texts]
SD: Ale, nie jestem Wieslawa Szymborska!

[One for the fortune cookie business]
EC: If a girl has no nails, she cannot scratch.

EC: It's a bit of a strange society where you get fit girls drunk and high and get them to predict the future.

EC: The quiet man cannot hear his own voice.

[One of Maxi's greatest moments in my opinion! Re: eggs.]
MD: Is it called sunny side down?
Maxi: It's called GO TO FUCKING LABOUR CAMP!!!


Original Quote: [22/04/2011]
AZ: Was it Aristotle who said something like 'You never walk into the same river twice'?
MD: ¬_¬ No, it was Pocahontas.

Now it turns out that, as a matter of fact, we both judged each other, for very different reasons.
AZ laughed at the fact that I thought it was in Pocahontas.
And I laughed because I thought she got Aristotle confused with Pocahontas.
In the end, it was Herakleitos of Ephesus. So there.


[NO idea what this is about, but I'm guessing it was DHC.]
[The first one is about teeth pulling I believe.]
jak dojdzie do 3 z 10 to ci cos daja na to. how do you quantify pain?

o heroinie napisalem tak jakby byla morphina

skonczylas juz. skonczylas. nie musisz juz z nikim spac.

[About psycho-girl in A&E]

AZ: Is this purple? Doesn't taste like purple!

AZ: Did I tell you I have snails in my shower sometimes?

Tim: Get your tank off my lawn!

Tim: My students are more important than your shopping list!

Tim: I think we've joined a funeral quartet, I really do.

[^ The field trip was pretty epic.]

Maxi: I tried. I can't.
EC: Use your fork.
Maxi: There's a reason you work at *****.

Child at work: She can't be a princess because she's not Queen Elizabeth the II's daughter!

ON RYANAIR?!

HIMYM:
- So, what did you order?
- Oh, just black coffee.
- Hmm, I like it that way too.
- Yeah, it just tastes better to me.
- I find that if the coffee beans are good enough you really don't need- WHY ARE YOU IN A WEDDING DRESS?!


SBF: i defo prefer drinking to jogging lol

Amazon:
This is a very sweet little clock but has no numerals or dots. This makes it fairly useless for telling the time, especially in the night.

Max: I know what it's like. You come home drunk...
MD: I'm not drunk.
Max: Why not?
MD: I was at a poetry reading.
Max: Oh. <puts arm on my shoulder> I'm so sorry.

[I stumble down the stairs, floods of tears pouring from my eyes, I fall into the opening door. First words to come out of his mouth:]
Max: Did he not like the shoes?

SD: Wszyscy moga paradowac - geje, lezbijki, zwierzeta, obroncy krzyza, NIE obroncy krzyza...

SD: Wspolna parade - wszyscy przeciwko wszytkiemu.

[Context inappropriate? xD]
AZ: ON RYANAIR?!?!?!

AZ: Is that Lenin?
MD: Ohhh! It's Prince Philip!

SD: Mnie by sie nawet znaczka nie chcialo liznac za 30p.