Yes, in all the drunkenness of last night, the Swan Book got a little injured. I intend to fix it. Or attempt to!
In other news:
AZ: And East is really close to North like in a really weird way.
MD: It's OK, I have Photoshop.
GP: Good. I need you to make me look Asian.
Errr....
XR: So when someone asks 'Oh, are you dressed as Professor Xavier?' 'No, I'm dressed as James McAvoy from the film...'
XR: We can lock him in a maths-proof room...
MD+GP: A maths-proof room?!
XR: The apple falling from a tree is more free than you are.
GP: The Earth is the enemy! IT'S THEM!
GP: So he doesn't believe in god, but he believes in this magical crane..?
XR: The Egyptians were well advanced in the 21st century.
Copernicus didn't die of religious prostitution.
XR: Me. Giulio. Italian. Male. Want to know if I can be a nun and like cock at the same time.
XR: How did I manage to get from Christianity to Giulio likes wearing tights..?
Re: Picture of GP as a nun, wearing tights, with a small child a mug of coffee, a physics box and a giant cock.
XR: In private that's how I imagine you!
XR: Don't make me bring quantum mechanics into this!
GP: You're getting red!
XR: I'm not getting red... WHERE'S THE WINE?!
XR: Call security and tell them what? 'I need to drink some wine in the maths department'?
XR: The best part of the rap was the applause.
XR: If you have to suck - you're doing it wrong!
GP: Technology to me is like sex to a prostitute.
MD: I just saw Mark in 60 years time!!!
MD: I'm afraid it'll spill everywhere.
XR: Not if you put your mouth over it.
XR: Tell him 'What are you, chicken?' He'll do it!
MD: Spytaj sie 'Czy jestes kurczakiem?'
AZ: ...CHICKEN!!!
XR: I wanted to say 'Buy me a drink. What are you, chicken?'; And I said 'Buy me a chicken!'
AZ: He just stroked an imaginary chicken.
XR: What else do you do with a chicken?
EGGS!!!
XR: Giulio give her a different finger... Agnes, lick the finger! She wants the pinky!
AZ: You could flash someone in that coat!
Randomer: Only children!
Coincidentally the same Randomer who part-took in mine and AZ's 'Let's get naked!' 'WHEEEEEY!' fiasco xD
XR to GP: You wetted my trousers!
Tuesday, 31 May 2011
Monday, 30 May 2011
Sunday, 29 May 2011
Alternativeness, Figurativeness and Sexual Hugs
[Just a shame AZ told me I am not to publish the funniest thing ever. But I thought I'd taunt anyway. It's to do with boob jobs. And documented in the Swan book. Until she reads this and burns it :( ]
"He would actually die of...alternativeness."
AZ: Omg we're having a moment!
LDC: She's a baking stalker.
Written in capital letters [Much like "SOCIETY IS STUPID"] so I'm thinking this is something I should remember in the future. I love how a semi-drunk me thought that I might just forget this when sober:
ICE IS COLD
LDC: I will figuratively guard your chair with my life.
XRL: We really should check out our mother.
SW: It's OK. The Vikings didn't have horns.
MD: I'm not saying he's a Viking. I'm saying he's a cow.
[Which SW was trying to write down on his hand, before I produced the Swan book. Funny.]
XRL: What did you mean? Like a sexual hug?
MD:...What is a 'sexual hug'?
XRL: I duno... A hug with a happy ending?
XRL: It's a frown of joy.
Watching Kill Bill. About the samurai sword.
AZ: Do you have to take ages to take it out of the thing?
[TWSS]
Kill Bill: "Revenge is never a straight line. It's a forest, and like a forest it's easy to lose your way … to get lost … to forget where you came in."
AZ: Glass-nerd-gasm.
MD: A week after we started talking, he was like "Come on a road-trip to Scotland with me!" Like... Yeah... Why don't I just shoot myself in the face...
AZ: ...and rape myself with a stick.
"He would actually die of...alternativeness."
AZ: Omg we're having a moment!
LDC: She's a baking stalker.
Written in capital letters [Much like "SOCIETY IS STUPID"] so I'm thinking this is something I should remember in the future. I love how a semi-drunk me thought that I might just forget this when sober:
ICE IS COLD
LDC: I will figuratively guard your chair with my life.
XRL: We really should check out our mother.
SW: It's OK. The Vikings didn't have horns.
MD: I'm not saying he's a Viking. I'm saying he's a cow.
[Which SW was trying to write down on his hand, before I produced the Swan book. Funny.]
XRL: What did you mean? Like a sexual hug?
MD:...What is a 'sexual hug'?
XRL: I duno... A hug with a happy ending?
XRL: It's a frown of joy.
Watching Kill Bill. About the samurai sword.
AZ: Do you have to take ages to take it out of the thing?
[TWSS]
Kill Bill: "Revenge is never a straight line. It's a forest, and like a forest it's easy to lose your way … to get lost … to forget where you came in."
AZ: Glass-nerd-gasm.
MD: A week after we started talking, he was like "Come on a road-trip to Scotland with me!" Like... Yeah... Why don't I just shoot myself in the face...
AZ: ...and rape myself with a stick.
Friday, 27 May 2011
27/05/11 Erries, Berries...
MD: Are cherries berries?
AZ: I don't think so.
MD: But they're..'erries'.
AZ: Yeah, they're 'erries' not 'berries'.
AZ: I don't think so.
MD: But they're..'erries'.
AZ: Yeah, they're 'erries' not 'berries'.
Mexican rebirth et al.
Re: Mexican sticks game.
MD: I don't know. I'm not Mexican.
JTA: Well you should be. Go get reborn.
In Regent's Park, there are these wooden sculptures of children and animals. Having climbed onto the head of one of them, a little girl runs up to the statue of a child...preparing to dive [? god knows what it's doing tbh] and says:
"Daddy, can you put me on that lady's head?"
So me and JTA were sat on a bench, he was drawing away in the Swan book, and I heard a noise behind us. Assuming it was a person, I turned around very subtly so as not to look like I was spying on them or whatever. I glanced over, and it was a child. Oh wait. No. No children are blue and have tails!!!
"OMFG THERE'S A PEACOCK BEHIND US!!!"
JTA: I think he's looking for the peacock.
MD: Considering he's just gone into the bushes, I don't think he's looking for the peacock.
JTA: Well, he's looking for something to so with peeing and cocks!
Re: Americans at UCL [The second, inferior type xD]
ST: I can't wait to tell my friends in Virginia!!
Mid-latitude extratropical cyclone
ST: I went from 'I hate the sea! I hate everything wet!' to 'I am a pirate!'.
Highway to Hell DOES NOT EQUAL Back to Black. Just. Fyi.
Nooo idea of the context of this:
"I AC/DC used you!"
Re: exam hall.
AZ: Which smelled like first basement, then attic, then basement, then paprika [MD: and then?] then basement again. Then cabbage.
AZ: I walked up Goodge Street Station stairs today!
MD: All 136 of them...
AZ: *rolls eyes* I didn't count...
Apprentice:
Susan: "No one has any money around here. Everyone's so poor."
Nick: "What's he doing? He's selling bows."
[To a really old woman] Tom: "When did you learn to water-ski?!"
Psychoville:
"Do you ever see the Silent Singer?"
MD: I don't know. I'm not Mexican.
JTA: Well you should be. Go get reborn.
In Regent's Park, there are these wooden sculptures of children and animals. Having climbed onto the head of one of them, a little girl runs up to the statue of a child...preparing to dive [? god knows what it's doing tbh] and says:
"Daddy, can you put me on that lady's head?"
So me and JTA were sat on a bench, he was drawing away in the Swan book, and I heard a noise behind us. Assuming it was a person, I turned around very subtly so as not to look like I was spying on them or whatever. I glanced over, and it was a child. Oh wait. No. No children are blue and have tails!!!
"OMFG THERE'S A PEACOCK BEHIND US!!!"
JTA: I think he's looking for the peacock.
MD: Considering he's just gone into the bushes, I don't think he's looking for the peacock.
JTA: Well, he's looking for something to so with peeing and cocks!
Re: Americans at UCL [The second, inferior type xD]
ST: I can't wait to tell my friends in Virginia!!
Mid-latitude extratropical cyclone
ST: I went from 'I hate the sea! I hate everything wet!' to 'I am a pirate!'.
Highway to Hell DOES NOT EQUAL Back to Black. Just. Fyi.
Nooo idea of the context of this:
"I AC/DC used you!"
Re: exam hall.
AZ: Which smelled like first basement, then attic, then basement, then paprika [MD: and then?] then basement again. Then cabbage.
AZ: I walked up Goodge Street Station stairs today!
MD: All 136 of them...
AZ: *rolls eyes* I didn't count...
Apprentice:
Susan: "No one has any money around here. Everyone's so poor."
Nick: "What's he doing? He's selling bows."
[To a really old woman] Tom: "When did you learn to water-ski?!"
Psychoville:
"Do you ever see the Silent Singer?"
Tuesday, 24 May 2011
Psychoville
"Nine across is 'You'"
"The witches of eBay"
"I used to be a werewolf, but I'm alright nowwwwwww!
'Really that as well?'
No, I was joking.
'Oh. So you're not a dwarf?'"
"He always said you'd end up doing something with your hands!
'Yeah, like mending cars, not doing strangles!'"
*Coocoo*
...
"Hobnob?
I brought a knife in case you only want half."
RE: Where the bathroom is
"Just follow the smell"
"Don't listen to him, he has about six different personalities!
'Shut up! No, YOU shut up!'"
"He eats everything, he's like a goat!"
"He thinks he has special powers.
'Like Beechams?'"
"He was always the weakest link, goodbye."
"The witches of eBay"
"I used to be a werewolf, but I'm alright nowwwwwww!
'Really that as well?'
No, I was joking.
'Oh. So you're not a dwarf?'"
"He always said you'd end up doing something with your hands!
'Yeah, like mending cars, not doing strangles!'"
*Coocoo*
...
"Hobnob?
I brought a knife in case you only want half."
RE: Where the bathroom is
"Just follow the smell"
"Don't listen to him, he has about six different personalities!
'Shut up! No, YOU shut up!'"
"He eats everything, he's like a goat!"
"He thinks he has special powers.
'Like Beechams?'"
"He was always the weakest link, goodbye."
Monday, 23 May 2011
23+24/05/11 Papercut vs beheading
AZ: Do kurwy nedzy; nie moge zadzwonic do wacikow... WACIIIIKIII!
Re: Gypsies.. I think?
AZ: That's people who have nothing to do racially or culturally.
RE: 'Literally'
AZ: Papercut - that's the worst thing! No it isn't... Getting beheaded - that's pretty bad too!!
My dad, RE: GLSB:
Usmiech jak joker; moglby sie kolegowac z Andiem Warholem; czego on sie nazywa 'skeleton'; moze on jest zombie?
Gosh Dad...Seriously!
Some people just need to fuck off. And not do this:
AZ: Comes to your house about skyping about mailing about calling about texting you...
In the midst of a conversation about someone else entirely!!
AZ: Is his name Jake? That tall Chinese guy...
MD: ...Who are you talking about?
AZ: ¬_¬ A tall, Chinese guy called Jake...that's who I'm talking about, OK?
AZ: He asked me out for coffee, and I said 'I'm busy till September'! [LOL...] And he deleted me off facebook for that! How childish!
Frankly, RE: Racism!
AZ: Korean, Chinese = pota[y]to, potato[h]
[Moment to honour the spelling there please :P]
Hah! Context is duck-out-of-bounds, but it's even funnier without xD
AZ: Tea is my blowjob.
AZ: 'You will join us pandas soon'. And what? Dry hump a fucking stick?!
Doing the 'Danny fingering Sandy' routine:
AZ: No, but I do that!
[MD, spits drink out, and laughs for about ten minutes]
WHEN I DANCE!!!
MD: OK I'm going to sleep.
AZ: AWWWWW.
MD: ...I know, being human sucks.
AZ: [Eating a waffle] BLAHGFLFKB
MD: ...what? ¬_¬
AZ: KLAHFKJLGEL:JB!
Oh. Apparently it was 'Lawyered'. Or actually 'Biologied' *sighs*
MD: I'm so thirsty.
AZ: Go to sleep.
...words fail me tbh.
Re: Gypsies.. I think?
AZ: That's people who have nothing to do racially or culturally.
RE: 'Literally'
AZ: Papercut - that's the worst thing! No it isn't... Getting beheaded - that's pretty bad too!!
My dad, RE: GLSB:
Usmiech jak joker; moglby sie kolegowac z Andiem Warholem; czego on sie nazywa 'skeleton'; moze on jest zombie?
Gosh Dad...Seriously!
Some people just need to fuck off. And not do this:
AZ: Comes to your house about skyping about mailing about calling about texting you...
In the midst of a conversation about someone else entirely!!
AZ: Is his name Jake? That tall Chinese guy...
MD: ...Who are you talking about?
AZ: ¬_¬ A tall, Chinese guy called Jake...that's who I'm talking about, OK?
AZ: He asked me out for coffee, and I said 'I'm busy till September'! [LOL...] And he deleted me off facebook for that! How childish!
Frankly, RE: Racism!
AZ: Korean, Chinese = pota[y]to, potato[h]
[Moment to honour the spelling there please :P]
Hah! Context is duck-out-of-bounds, but it's even funnier without xD
AZ: Tea is my blowjob.
AZ: 'You will join us pandas soon'. And what? Dry hump a fucking stick?!
Doing the 'Danny fingering Sandy' routine:
AZ: No, but I do that!
[MD, spits drink out, and laughs for about ten minutes]
WHEN I DANCE!!!
MD: OK I'm going to sleep.
AZ: AWWWWW.
MD: ...I know, being human sucks.
AZ: [Eating a waffle] BLAHGFLFKB
MD: ...what? ¬_¬
AZ: KLAHFKJLGEL:JB!
Oh. Apparently it was 'Lawyered'. Or actually 'Biologied' *sighs*
MD: I'm so thirsty.
AZ: Go to sleep.
...words fail me tbh.
Sunday, 22 May 2011
22/05/11 God is tired!
RE: Praying.
AZ: They've been at it since I was awake... Really, even God is tired of it by now!
RE: John Barrowman
MD: He's cuuuute!
AZ: But he's the gayest gay in the world!
...:( Damnit!
SYTYCD:
Louise: I don't think looking sexy comes naturally to you, Katrina...
Meeow.
MD: I think she looks sexy now... Not in like a lesbian way...
[...]
AZ: But how can you not look sexy in a PVC costume?
SYTYCD:
Arlene: That music was WAILING sex!!!
AZ: They've been at it since I was awake... Really, even God is tired of it by now!
RE: John Barrowman
MD: He's cuuuute!
AZ: But he's the gayest gay in the world!
...:( Damnit!
SYTYCD:
Louise: I don't think looking sexy comes naturally to you, Katrina...
Meeow.
MD: I think she looks sexy now... Not in like a lesbian way...
[...]
AZ: But how can you not look sexy in a PVC costume?
SYTYCD:
Arlene: That music was WAILING sex!!!
Saturday, 21 May 2011
21/05/11 Glitter bitch.
The end.
Also - some lyrics.
One track mind, one track heart
If I fail, I'll fall apart
Maybe it is all a test
Cause I feel like I'm the worst,
So I always act like I'm the best
If you are not very careful
Your possessions will possess you
TV taught me how to feel
Now real life has no appeal
it has not appeal
AZ: I'm sorry I'm just so ANGRY all the time!
RE: previous post and Google Chrome
MD: Why are you underlining my M's, they're part of the I's!
AZ: M's are part of I's? That's...news to me!
Also - some lyrics.
One track mind, one track heart
If I fail, I'll fall apart
Maybe it is all a test
Cause I feel like I'm the worst,
So I always act like I'm the best
If you are not very careful
Your possessions will possess you
TV taught me how to feel
Now real life has no appeal
it has not appeal
AZ: I'm sorry I'm just so ANGRY all the time!
RE: previous post and Google Chrome
MD: Why are you underlining my M's, they're part of the I's!
AZ: M's are part of I's? That's...news to me!
Thursday, 19 May 2011
19/05/2011 Less serious rape and First Pictures
AZ: Less serious rape? Like, when a friend jumps on you and goes 'HAA RAPE!'?
Made me laugh way loads! Especially in the light of AZ's recent 'you fucking fuck!' comment! xD
Me and AZ decided to watch this film on iPlayer called 'Black Sheep'. And oh my... Just. Oh. My.
http://www.angryduck.co.uk/ <<< Omgomgomg! [To quote Online Gamer: BONER!]
AZ: I don't think theres anything wrong with eating food..Hey!
Re: towel falling on the floor for the hundredth time!
MD: Ooh it has a hook! *snap* Oh. It no longer has a hook...
AZ: Ooo...Zepsulas mi recznik!
AZ: I wish bulimia was easy to develop...
The Apprentice You're Fired:
"You crush the puppy and then you're sad because you don't have the puppy anymore!"
From Nigdy w Zyciu
"Jak kochać to księcia, jak kraść to miliony"
Made me laugh way loads! Especially in the light of AZ's recent 'you fucking fuck!' comment! xD
Me and AZ decided to watch this film on iPlayer called 'Black Sheep'. And oh my... Just. Oh. My.
http://www.angryduck.co.uk/ <<< Omgomgomg! [To quote Online Gamer: BONER!]
AZ: I don't think theres anything wrong with eating food..Hey!
Re: towel falling on the floor for the hundredth time!
MD: Ooh it has a hook! *snap* Oh. It no longer has a hook...
AZ: Ooo...Zepsulas mi recznik!
AZ: I wish bulimia was easy to develop...
The Apprentice You're Fired:
"You crush the puppy and then you're sad because you don't have the puppy anymore!"
From Nigdy w Zyciu
"Jak kochać to księcia, jak kraść to miliony"
Wednesday, 18 May 2011
18/05/2011 Not the empire!
Facebook convo.
GLSB:
tell her I made a lighthearted quip about cups of tea and beans on toast and other British things that will perplex her.
MD:
lol! yes. Agnes is famous for not knowing about tea and toast ¬_¬
GLSB:
foreigners know about tea and beans on toast? Something has to be done. We'll lose the empire.
GLSB:
tell her I made a lighthearted quip about cups of tea and beans on toast and other British things that will perplex her.
MD:
lol! yes. Agnes is famous for not knowing about tea and toast ¬_¬
GLSB:
foreigners know about tea and beans on toast? Something has to be done. We'll lose the empire.
Tuesday, 17 May 2011
17/05/2011 Catch up
Online Gamer:
Yeah, I don't know if I have a favourite kind of vagina...
RE:Sheesha
AZ: What if your brain explodes?
CAMELFACE
RE: Blow jobs
MD: Ultimate party trick...
AZ: It's not a balloon animal!
AZ: We look like the Indian mafia!
AZ: Eugh, people are looking at us like NYAAA...What? It's only sheesha *-)
MD: ...I look at people like that...
AZ: People are taking pictures of chihuahuas. OMG. It's a fucking chihuahua, not a tiger!
AZ: Hey Agnes, it's Milz, you're black!
...:/
AZ: I don't have an unread message you fucking fuck!
RE: Hair bleaching
STR: I left him alone for three hours and he did that!
JC: Once Hitler killed all the Jews he was pretty happy...
AZ: Awww, it's nice to be someone's kryptonite!
GG, Regina: I haven't been this bored since I believed in Jesus!
GG, Serena: I'd ask how you are, but I don't really care.
GG, Blair: People don't write sonnets about being compatible, and novels about shared life goals and stimulating conversations.
Yeah, I don't know if I have a favourite kind of vagina...
RE:Sheesha
AZ: What if your brain explodes?
CAMELFACE
RE: Blow jobs
MD: Ultimate party trick...
AZ: It's not a balloon animal!
AZ: We look like the Indian mafia!
AZ: Eugh, people are looking at us like NYAAA...What? It's only sheesha *-)
MD: ...I look at people like that...
AZ: People are taking pictures of chihuahuas. OMG. It's a fucking chihuahua, not a tiger!
AZ: Hey Agnes, it's Milz, you're black!
...:/
AZ: I don't have an unread message you fucking fuck!
RE: Hair bleaching
STR: I left him alone for three hours and he did that!
JC: Once Hitler killed all the Jews he was pretty happy...
AZ: Awww, it's nice to be someone's kryptonite!
GG, Regina: I haven't been this bored since I believed in Jesus!
GG, Serena: I'd ask how you are, but I don't really care.
GG, Blair: People don't write sonnets about being compatible, and novels about shared life goals and stimulating conversations.
Friday, 13 May 2011
14/05/2011 Sugar tits
About my crappy picture.
AZ: I saw it and I was like.. :O Did you take a picture?
AZ: I have sugars on my tits!
About a car driving past with loud music.
AZ: So many gangsters in this neighbourhood!
Psychoville 1: Not now silent singer.
Psychoville 2:
M1: You remember Emily don't you?
M2: Yes I do. *slams door*
After Agnes kept doing inappropriate actions to Summer Nights.
MD: Danny did not spend the whole summer fingering her!!!
SOCIETY IS STUPID
Written on its own separate page in the Swan book, so that I never forget!
After drinking. Really not that much.
AZ: Seriously, I see two of you.
MD: Err.. *points at mask* that's Alan Sugar?
MD: OMG! Pubic hair colour dye?!
AZ: OMG! I wanna do it!
...
Re: death of parents
MD: Bambi got over it pretty quickly?
AZ: Bambi was an animal! They have the emotional capacity of a teaspoon.
*starts writing down as we walk*
AZ: You make me feel famous sometimes! 'Cause my words are important.
Walking the same way.
AZ: Go left!
MD: My left or your left?
...
Mocking.
"See you later ladies"
MD: Yeah.. Maybe if I need a patio build! *AZ bursts out laughing* ...I'm such a twat, I make myself sad sometimes.
AZ: I saw it and I was like.. :O Did you take a picture?
AZ: I have sugars on my tits!
About a car driving past with loud music.
AZ: So many gangsters in this neighbourhood!
Psychoville 1: Not now silent singer.
Psychoville 2:
M1: You remember Emily don't you?
M2: Yes I do. *slams door*
After Agnes kept doing inappropriate actions to Summer Nights.
MD: Danny did not spend the whole summer fingering her!!!
SOCIETY IS STUPID
Written on its own separate page in the Swan book, so that I never forget!
After drinking. Really not that much.
AZ: Seriously, I see two of you.
MD: Err.. *points at mask* that's Alan Sugar?
MD: OMG! Pubic hair colour dye?!
AZ: OMG! I wanna do it!
...
Re: death of parents
MD: Bambi got over it pretty quickly?
AZ: Bambi was an animal! They have the emotional capacity of a teaspoon.
*starts writing down as we walk*
AZ: You make me feel famous sometimes! 'Cause my words are important.
Walking the same way.
AZ: Go left!
MD: My left or your left?
...
Mocking.
"See you later ladies"
MD: Yeah.. Maybe if I need a patio build! *AZ bursts out laughing* ...I'm such a twat, I make myself sad sometimes.
Thursday, 12 May 2011
12/05/2011 War Admiral
MD: Why is War Admiral standing above me? ... And why is he wearing my bra? o.O
AZ: Just... Trying to see a horse in a pile of clothes...
AZ: Just... Trying to see a horse in a pile of clothes...
Randomness from my little Swan book
MD: Read the last sentence of my conclusion.
AZ: Ooh, where is it? Where is it? ... Oh wait!
RE: erections
MD: Full blown! A naked woman walks in and *tiki-tiki-tik* ?
AZ: ...
GLSB: Yeah but Pakistan don't seem to mind.
ANH: Yeah they do! Didn't you read their Twitter?!
ANH: You see those clips of 40 year old men eating cheese on toast...
*in unison* MD: No I don't?! GLSB: Where do I see those?!
ANH: Do you know any 15 year old men?
ANH: I got two compliments from women. Neither of whom were my mother!
GLSB: That's pretty low calibre bullying in your school! 'Why aren't you standing up? Stand up!'
ANH: HE FLICKED A LEAF AT ME!
[Talking about a cone]
GLSB: Why is every story about nature? [MD: ...a CONE?] Ohhh I was thinking of the wrong cone!
ANH: I'm going to hell! Left handed...Use condoms... ['and hate the pope' I think was the last one?? xD]
I so badly want the context of this!!
ANH: We were studying a story about a dinosaur with a nosebleed...
ANH [to GLSB]: I just wanted to know why you made your lips disappear and then bite them... Call me weird...
GLSB making the cross symbol before going into the toilet. Priceless.
AZ: Ooh, where is it? Where is it? ... Oh wait!
RE: erections
MD: Full blown! A naked woman walks in and *tiki-tiki-tik* ?
AZ: ...
GLSB: Yeah but Pakistan don't seem to mind.
ANH: Yeah they do! Didn't you read their Twitter?!
ANH: You see those clips of 40 year old men eating cheese on toast...
*in unison* MD: No I don't?! GLSB: Where do I see those?!
ANH: Do you know any 15 year old men?
ANH: I got two compliments from women. Neither of whom were my mother!
GLSB: That's pretty low calibre bullying in your school! 'Why aren't you standing up? Stand up!'
ANH: HE FLICKED A LEAF AT ME!
[Talking about a cone]
GLSB: Why is every story about nature? [MD: ...a CONE?] Ohhh I was thinking of the wrong cone!
ANH: I'm going to hell! Left handed...Use condoms... ['and hate the pope' I think was the last one?? xD]
I so badly want the context of this!!
ANH: We were studying a story about a dinosaur with a nosebleed...
ANH [to GLSB]: I just wanted to know why you made your lips disappear and then bite them... Call me weird...
GLSB making the cross symbol before going into the toilet. Priceless.
11/04/2011 On the inside?
HIMYM: "Guess this one's kinda cute or whatever"
AZ: I thought he was litigious... Litigious? No. PROMISCUOUS.
MD: They ARE close...As far as...the order of letters goes?
Mocking.
AZ: 'I'm on the inside'... not to be confused with the outside. That would be catastrophic!
Re: GG.
AZ: Just...Rufus... Well, cause he has to have lines!
The Apprentice; Karen: "There is six boys in there, squeezing 1400 oranges"
LGE: "down with blacks" "can't we all just get along?" NO. you're both wrong. fuck off
AZ: I thought he was litigious... Litigious? No. PROMISCUOUS.
MD: They ARE close...As far as...the order of letters goes?
Mocking.
AZ: 'I'm on the inside'... not to be confused with the outside. That would be catastrophic!
Re: GG.
AZ: Just...Rufus... Well, cause he has to have lines!
The Apprentice; Karen: "There is six boys in there, squeezing 1400 oranges"
LGE: "down with blacks" "can't we all just get along?" NO. you're both wrong. fuck off
Tuesday, 10 May 2011
10/05/2011 The day the diss stood still!
Dissertation stress!
MD: I need valium not vit c...
AZ: I can strangle you with a pillow if you want?
Mockingly.
AZ: "I hate you" "I like people that hate me :)" ARGH!
Logic lost.
AZ: Lol..Finka. Like a finnish woman.
MD: I was thinking like a pet feminine fin..
AZ: ...what?
HIMYM: "Guess this one's kinda cute or whatever"
MD: I need valium not vit c...
AZ: I can strangle you with a pillow if you want?
Mockingly.
AZ: "I hate you" "I like people that hate me :)" ARGH!
Logic lost.
AZ: Lol..Finka. Like a finnish woman.
MD: I was thinking like a pet feminine fin..
AZ: ...what?
HIMYM: "Guess this one's kinda cute or whatever"
Monday, 9 May 2011
09/05/2011 Gaston
About singing Beauty and the Beast.
AZ: I love doing Gaston!
AZ - the WORD MASTER! xD
About Mulan.
AZ: Oh I got it. You killed the girl... And you liked it?
AZ: I love doing Gaston!
AZ - the WORD MASTER! xD
About Mulan.
AZ: Oh I got it. You killed the girl... And you liked it?
Sunday, 8 May 2011
08/05/2011 Boyle!
AZ - to water:
Come on, boil! SUSAN BOYLE!
Decadence. Pretty.
[A process, condition, or period of deterioration or decline, as in morals or art; decay]
[Fbk status.]
MD: The news seems to have died down a little bit... The leader of Al-Qaeda Osama Bin Laden was controlling Al-Quaeda. Erm. Well. Um. Yes?
AZ: "This just in! 'Hitler was responsible for the Nazi regime' :O"
Come on, boil! SUSAN BOYLE!
Decadence. Pretty.
[A process, condition, or period of deterioration or decline, as in morals or art; decay]
[Fbk status.]
MD: The news seems to have died down a little bit... The leader of Al-Qaeda Osama Bin Laden was controlling Al-Quaeda. Erm. Well. Um. Yes?
AZ: "This just in! 'Hitler was responsible for the Nazi regime' :O"
From Facebook, so I can get rid of them.
Fortius quo fidelius;;
Fortis fortuna adiuvat;;
You try, you fail; You try, you fail...But the only true failure is when you stop trying;;
immi.x says:
i wrote to ---- and apologised too. but no reply
little git.
AZ: Czy to zemsta za to ze zyje?!
Alex G.: 'to the wretched homo'
AZ: 'na wally? um. no... zdecydowanie nie wally. dzisiaj nie szukamy wally'ego.'
Dom: 'I like watching people'
Quiz guy [Max?]: 'The most amazing thing about my socks today - I managed to find a pair. I was so excited - I made it my status!'
Stephen: 'I will not be pressed for information!'
'I think Barney ate the relationship chicken.'
"Yet in sleep there flows before my heart the memory of pain. Against our will we are taught restraint."
'more girls! snakes with tits.' [Ed Pitt]
'well no i mean she's got a normal person's face lol meaning - no disabilities, no severe deformations' [Agnes]
'give £2 a month to a starving african and what do they do? buy a fucking trumpet...' [Louis Eley]
'i know how sick it sounds - but i would do anything to that cat' [Agnes]
'"i love guys at night"
"guys campus i mean"' [Dawid]
"I used to fuck her just to shut her up" [Jared]
''It had those long antennae, it was brown...and it looked kinda...intelligent' [AZ]
'...ale codziennie zabijam swinke morska.' [DC]
'I have chilly hands' No you don't... 'No, no...CHILLI hands.' Ohhhh' [DS]
'..."Paint
Must never hope to reproduce the faint
Half-flush that dies along her throat"' R. Browning
"She had
A heart . . . how shall I say? . . . too soon made glad,
Too easily impressed; she liked whate'er
She looked on, and her looks went everywhere." R. Browning
'I need the comfort that if I Ponglish something he'll still get what I mean' AZ
'Sometimes a queen has to make a choice: a castle with a white knight. Or a quest with a dark prince.' GG
Fortis fortuna adiuvat;;
You try, you fail; You try, you fail...But the only true failure is when you stop trying;;
immi.x says:
i wrote to ---- and apologised too. but no reply
little git.
AZ: Czy to zemsta za to ze zyje?!
Alex G.: 'to the wretched homo'
AZ: 'na wally? um. no... zdecydowanie nie wally. dzisiaj nie szukamy wally'ego.'
Dom: 'I like watching people'
Quiz guy [Max?]: 'The most amazing thing about my socks today - I managed to find a pair. I was so excited - I made it my status!'
Stephen: 'I will not be pressed for information!'
'I think Barney ate the relationship chicken.'
"Yet in sleep there flows before my heart the memory of pain. Against our will we are taught restraint."
'more girls! snakes with tits.' [Ed Pitt]
'well no i mean she's got a normal person's face lol meaning - no disabilities, no severe deformations' [Agnes]
'give £2 a month to a starving african and what do they do? buy a fucking trumpet...' [Louis Eley]
'i know how sick it sounds - but i would do anything to that cat' [Agnes]
'"i love guys at night"
"guys campus i mean"' [Dawid]
"I used to fuck her just to shut her up" [Jared]
''It had those long antennae, it was brown...and it looked kinda...intelligent' [AZ]
'...ale codziennie zabijam swinke morska.' [DC]
'I have chilly hands' No you don't... 'No, no...CHILLI hands.' Ohhhh' [DS]
'..."Paint
Must never hope to reproduce the faint
Half-flush that dies along her throat"' R. Browning
"She had
A heart . . . how shall I say? . . . too soon made glad,
Too easily impressed; she liked whate'er
She looked on, and her looks went everywhere." R. Browning
'I need the comfort that if I Ponglish something he'll still get what I mean' AZ
'Sometimes a queen has to make a choice: a castle with a white knight. Or a quest with a dark prince.' GG
Bowl. All time favourite.
*throw stuff*
...Get in the bowl.
You get in the bowl.
...
You couldn't find a bigger bowl...
...Get in the bowl.
You get in the bowl.
...
You couldn't find a bigger bowl...
Saturday, 7 May 2011
07/05/2011 Taxi Driver
It's because Google is for simple people!
AZ: Do you remember... last year there was this thing about this taxi driver who flipped out and killed loads of people?
MD: No?
AZ: It was all over the news! I'm trying to find it! Damnit..
MD: *googles* Is it 'Taxi driver kills 12 then shoots himself'?
AZ: YES! How did you find it?!!
MD: ...I typed in 'london taxi driver killed people'
AZ: Oh. :( I typed in 'taxi murderer' and didn't find it...
And I'm sorry but no-one NO-ONE will convince me that the song Octopus's Garden by The Beatles is NOT about Bin Laden, with lyrics such as:
We would be warm below the storm
In our little hideaway beneath the waves
AND
We would sing and dance around
because we know we can't be found
I'd like to be under the sea
Just. Please. Lol.
British Gas:
Whilst on hold - "We're awfully busy updating our website..."
MD: What, right now?!
Also:
British Gas woman: I'm assuming [lol in itself xD] that you're calling about your electricity bill. [MD: Yes...but...] Do you want to pay that now?
MD: No. Can I talk now? [BGW: Yes...] Because...I'm stupid and I wrote down the wrong reference number...
BGW: And why did you do that?
o.O
Banter chat. [PS: Not ACTUALLY about periods! xD lol!]
AZ: I'm going to the chemist.
MD: OMG DON'T DO IT THERE'S SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR!
AZ: Jeez, I just need tampons for my heavy flow!
MD: ;) I like that!
AZ: Do you remember... last year there was this thing about this taxi driver who flipped out and killed loads of people?
MD: No?
AZ: It was all over the news! I'm trying to find it! Damnit..
MD: *googles* Is it 'Taxi driver kills 12 then shoots himself'?
AZ: YES! How did you find it?!!
MD: ...I typed in 'london taxi driver killed people'
AZ: Oh. :( I typed in 'taxi murderer' and didn't find it...
And I'm sorry but no-one NO-ONE will convince me that the song Octopus's Garden by The Beatles is NOT about Bin Laden, with lyrics such as:
We would be warm below the storm
In our little hideaway beneath the waves
AND
We would sing and dance around
because we know we can't be found
I'd like to be under the sea
Just. Please. Lol.
British Gas:
Whilst on hold - "We're awfully busy updating our website..."
MD: What, right now?!
Also:
British Gas woman: I'm assuming [lol in itself xD] that you're calling about your electricity bill. [MD: Yes...but...] Do you want to pay that now?
MD: No. Can I talk now? [BGW: Yes...] Because...I'm stupid and I wrote down the wrong reference number...
BGW: And why did you do that?
o.O
Banter chat. [PS: Not ACTUALLY about periods! xD lol!]
AZ: I'm going to the chemist.
MD: OMG DON'T DO IT THERE'S SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR!
AZ: Jeez, I just need tampons for my heavy flow!
MD: ;) I like that!
Friday, 6 May 2011
06/05/2011 Makepeace
About Makepeace.
AZ: But it is a weird name.
MD: You're a weird name.
AZ: I'm not saying anything, but your child will be battered to death in the playground.
MD: ...No... Beacause... he'll have Hector to defend him! DUH!
MAKEPEACE NOTWAR DECHNIK-LIU
XR: If you were in a Disney film youd kidnap dogs.
In the midst of a play-fight.
AZ: Go and have your imaginary babies!
Also!
MD, reading XR's text: And then he said 'I thought you wanted a girl'...
AZ: You can't choose what sex your imaginary kids will be! All that matters is that they're healthy! *breaks down laughing* [MD: Whaaat?] PLEASE OH PLEASE have a child with no arms and no legs and we can buy it a skipping rope! xD
AZ: But it is a weird name.
MD: You're a weird name.
AZ: I'm not saying anything, but your child will be battered to death in the playground.
MD: ...No... Beacause... he'll have Hector to defend him! DUH!
MAKEPEACE NOTWAR DECHNIK-LIU
XR: If you were in a Disney film youd kidnap dogs.
In the midst of a play-fight.
AZ: Go and have your imaginary babies!
Also!
MD, reading XR's text: And then he said 'I thought you wanted a girl'...
AZ: You can't choose what sex your imaginary kids will be! All that matters is that they're healthy! *breaks down laughing* [MD: Whaaat?] PLEASE OH PLEASE have a child with no arms and no legs and we can buy it a skipping rope! xD
Wednesday, 4 May 2011
4/05/2011 A little catch up.
AZ: Na pewno jest wspanialym czlowiekiem...
MTW: I'm not gonna flatten pigs ears for you!!!
DW: Men are like bolts; women like nuts. The less crude explanation - they go well together, and are useless separately. The more crude - they make a good screw.
Just. LOL.
AZ: Can you imagine the expression on her stupid face?!
HIMYM: Lily on Absinthe: "Time is music that planets make" Aww :)
MTW: I'm not gonna flatten pigs ears for you!!!
DW: Men are like bolts; women like nuts. The less crude explanation - they go well together, and are useless separately. The more crude - they make a good screw.
Just. LOL.
AZ: Can you imagine the expression on her stupid face?!
HIMYM: Lily on Absinthe: "Time is music that planets make" Aww :)
Monday, 2 May 2011
02/05/2011
About fbk.
AZ: He shotgunned the heart!
Awwww :)
About people looking at us sititng in UCL main building [on the floor...]
AZ: Ktos idze i sie gapi... No kurwa chcesz ciasteczko?!
We are sitting in the library. All is well and calm. No one says anything. Suddenly...
AZ: Teehee :) Paedophiles!
About people in the library.
MD: Dlaczego ludzie sie na nas patrza?! :(
AZ: Nie wiem, bo jestesmy fajne? :)
AZ: Wyglada jak karzelek. Tylko wiekszy.
MD: Wiec wyglada jak normalny czlowiek?
AZ: Ale tak troszke wiekszy.
AZ: I think I made up a word?
Silence. Suddenly and quickly:
AZ: :( oh grrr... boo... fuck it.
AZ: I'm don't know why I'm here?
MD: I dont know why im sitting... I should be...
Standing?
Oh. Lol. And I just remembered a convo between me and AZ, where I pissed her off to NO end...
AZ: When my father...
MD: Your father? xD Lol. Why not your dad?
AZ: Because he was an authoritative figure.
MD: ?
AZ: Because he was wearing a suit...
MD: So if he wore a T-Shirt would he be your dad?
AZ: *-) Anyway. So when my father and my mother...
MD: Was she wearing a suit too?
AZ: Oh ffs. I don't want to tell the story any more!!!
MD: No, no. I'm sorry. Carry on.
[Damnit! I don't remember the rest!! Hopefully I'll remember eventually...]
AZ: I HATE brushing my teeth!
AZ: He shotgunned the heart!
Awwww :)
About people looking at us sititng in UCL main building [on the floor...]
AZ: Ktos idze i sie gapi... No kurwa chcesz ciasteczko?!
We are sitting in the library. All is well and calm. No one says anything. Suddenly...
AZ: Teehee :) Paedophiles!
About people in the library.
MD: Dlaczego ludzie sie na nas patrza?! :(
AZ: Nie wiem, bo jestesmy fajne? :)
AZ: Wyglada jak karzelek. Tylko wiekszy.
MD: Wiec wyglada jak normalny czlowiek?
AZ: Ale tak troszke wiekszy.
AZ: I think I made up a word?
Silence. Suddenly and quickly:
AZ: :( oh grrr... boo... fuck it.
AZ: I'm don't know why I'm here?
MD: I dont know why im sitting... I should be...
Standing?
Oh. Lol. And I just remembered a convo between me and AZ, where I pissed her off to NO end...
AZ: When my father...
MD: Your father? xD Lol. Why not your dad?
AZ: Because he was an authoritative figure.
MD: ?
AZ: Because he was wearing a suit...
MD: So if he wore a T-Shirt would he be your dad?
AZ: *-) Anyway. So when my father and my mother...
MD: Was she wearing a suit too?
AZ: Oh ffs. I don't want to tell the story any more!!!
MD: No, no. I'm sorry. Carry on.
[Damnit! I don't remember the rest!! Hopefully I'll remember eventually...]
AZ: I HATE brushing my teeth!
01/05/2011 Just a convo.
Just worth remembering that I had possibly the best conversation ever with my dad today!
Topics covered in our hour long conversation: politics, sport, religion, France, Israel, mice and Justin Bieber. And I only called to talk about mice... :)
Topics covered in our hour long conversation: politics, sport, religion, France, Israel, mice and Justin Bieber. And I only called to talk about mice... :)
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