Why share?

TSD: She bought her LP. Oh god, I'm so old. Her CD!

MD: O, tatus nie ma nawet sily zeby sie polozyc.
TSD: To go popchnij.

MD: Did you just throw the cat out?
TSD: No...He jumped...

MD: I don't know. I haven't stood up yet.
XR: I thought you said 'I havent spit up yet'. Why share?!

After reading the synopsis for the CSI episode we missed.
TSD: Ale ja juz wiem co sie stanie. Bo tutaj jest napisane.
SD: Dlaczego to zrobilas?
MD: Ale...Ale...
TSD: Ale tylko dwa zdania.
SD: Ale po co je czytalas?
TSD: Nie wiem...
...
...Przeczytac wam?
MD+SD: NIE!!!!!


Apprentice You're Fired
'Was this manufactured in heaven?' o.O And then did you pick up on that and go 'No. In Swansea'?!


GLSB: going to flat-hunt with Ouebb and job-hunt also
lots of hunting
more than is good for a vegetarian

AZ: so the point of the story babies - it's good to have dormant black genes?

TSD: You used to read all the time.
MD: No I didn't! That's an urban myth.
TSD: ¬_¬ No.

MD: My head just vibrated.
JTA: You should get that checked out. Sounds painful!

Re: Bunny-outfit
JTA: ...So he can touch them on their nipple places. Shame on you, Winnie the Pooh!

JTA: Send in the diviner diviner!

MD: I like that little girl's dress. It matches her dad's top :)
JTA: Nyawww... Accessorising your daughter!

Re: Pierogi
MD: Zrobilam je wszystkie.
TSD: To juz wrzucilas!?! SD: DWIE PACZKI!?!
MD: Nie, jedna. Tak, juz.
SD: Juz mialem mowic ze bedziemy te pierogi jesc do rana.

JCE: That's it. I just like ugly shoes.

I feel the following exchange is the most representative two lines of our relationship.
MD: i have glue on my eyelid :(:(
GLSB: how, dear God, how?

"The closest to a husband is a dad" o.O

SD: To pojedz do Australii.
MD: Nie bo tam sa pajaki.
SD: Wszedzie sa pajaki.
MD: Nie, ale takie duze.
SD: Wszedzie sa duze.
MD: Nie, ale takie co zjadaja ludzi!
SD: Nie ma takich.
MD: Sa! Widzialam w internecie!
SD: Eee..To byl fotomontaz...

MD: Boys are weird...
MJS: 'I WANT SOME WEED'?! :|

TDK: JT is shagging my leg!

Re: Ohhh it's what you do to me...
MS: I'm gonna change the song before I do

Re: cows.
MD: Chodzmy tu... O. One sie patrza.
SD: Nie to chodz, idziemy [turns back around]

[NB: While the above post makes my father seem like a coward, he is totally badass and made himself a plaster out of grass on the same day!]

MD: Can you not play guitar barefoot?
MS: Nah, my hands get too sweaty.
o.O

SAF: Let's just mime it..'Yeah baby!'

MD: You're not my dad!
SAF: Yes I am!
MD: ???
SAF: Well this other guy has taken the husband thing. The closest to a husband is a dad.
o.O

SAF: It's a fucking ninja cow, I swear!

SAF: Will you slap my berry?

[In IRRITATING Russian accent!]
SAF: Do you want to try my berry? Is very hairy.

Re: Beyonce's ass.
SAF: If I could put that ass on Daniel Craig...
o.O

Re: water-fight.
SAF: You seemed to pay exquisite attention to my buttons.

MD: Weirdo
SAF: Huh?
MD [eating]: WUUDUHH... I said: WEIRDO.
SAF: Three times makes it better does it? Softens the blow...

AWJ: Texts should never have souls.

FP: He's practically masturbating a drum kit. You can't masturbate things with your voice!

FP: Mha! I've got a date with a 21 year old. Check me out! Knuckle-bump!

FP: Hey! I was talking about my poor hamster!
MD: Noo, cause I'll say something inappropriate...
FP: He's not dead!
MD: ...yet.
FP: OI!
MD: I TOLD YOU!!!

FP: *sighs* No joke should need that much explanation...

MD: I need to show you something.
TDS: Ok. Not your naked body though. Cause that would be awkward.
O.O
[FYI: I have never asked to show her my naked body! LOL]

Brid

ND: Ten Arron to jest Izraelczyk? Zyd?

ND: Nie powiesz ze jest Szkotem bo jest skosno-oki!

Re: Misspelt 'Brid' box.
AWJ: ah man, that is so lucky! I was looking for somewhere to keep my brid

[somewhwere]
AWJ: i would just correct my awful spelling first; soo many w's in somewhere


MD: eugh. why do people even need friends...
AWJ: if the sims have taught us anything it is for promotions at work

Generalness

House
"You probably shouldn't have sex for a while."
"For how long?"
"On an evolutionary basis, I'd recommend forever."

Apprentice:
Susie: Do French people like their children?

Greatest tv mistakes. Re: Glass smashing into the car.
Take that, Newton!

Bathroom maths and Mufasa

Fools:
Drunk Driver: I am them.
Police officer: You am them?

House:
Are you being intentionally dense?!
Huh? o.O

House:
Double-entry book-keeping?!

XR: I'm gonna...run to the bathroom..and do the maths.

XR: Oh you have a blueberry now! Oh! It's a blackberry! My next sentence was going to be 'It should be called a blackberry'!

MD: I'm not British.
MP: Are you from Wales?
¬_¬

XR to MP: You're doing the smouldering look again! You can't speak English without flirting!

Re: Elephants.
AN: They're not even soft hair! Not like...washed with Pantene.

Re: AN's picture
XR: Why is it sharp?! It looks like a baby elephant under the big elephant!

XR: He never says hi to me.
MD: You're not a girl!
Randomer @Fitzroy Tavern: You're just too cocky!
MD: Hush, I'm foreign!
Randomer @Fitzroy Tavern: You must realise that every man has a cock!

Fair enough xD

XR: I propose a game of fives to my left.
SIX!
SEVEN!
NINE!!!

MP: Two fives.

MP: I propose you were refrained from allowing.

MP: 1, 2, 3, 7! Ok. I win.

MP: People think I'm this Indian slash Chinese girl... slash guy.

MD: There's nothing for you to fuck you me about!

XR: So who did you inherit your awesome looking eyes from?
LOL!!!

XR: You don't even know how to use your eyes!

MD: Why do you call him 'father'?
XR: As opposed to...?
MD: Dad? Daddy-O?
XR: MUFASA!


Re: Saying 'fail'. Also - logicfail.
XR: No-one ever says 'SUCCESS!'
MD: Because it sounds like something Nelson would say.

XR: He's a little bit extreme, but not even correct sometimes.

Cure for headache? PUB!

AZ to MD: I forget how good you are at wingwomaning!

MD: Ciezkie!
SD: A bo ty mi pomagasz. Mialem powiedziec 'Jak ciezkie, jak to sie samo podnosi?!'

Re: helping a guy in a wheelchair down the stairs.
SD: Spadnie! Ten wozek na niego spadnie! Jeszcze go zabijemy...


MD: No YOU should stand there! She looks like you!
TSD: SHE LOOKS LIKE MICHAEL JACKSON! Thanks!

SD: Chinskie wino?

Chyba z ryzu...

MD: My head hurts...
SD: RIGHT! Let's go to the pub!

TSD: ...czy kupujemy piwo i idziemy do Ciebie? Bedziemy grali w gry. Na przyklad w pokera.


TSD: To musisz napisac! 'Tato jest zlachany'. Przez 'ch'. Chyba. A chyba przez 'ch' na pewno!

MD: Ale 'poszedlem' jest teraz w slowniku.
TSD: ...'Poszedlem' zawsze bylo w slowniku!

MD: O. Noga mi spadla.
TSD: Mi tez spadla. Podczas porodu.

TSD: Depressed people need lots of sunlight. So plenty of sunshine for you!
MD: Lol.

...

o.O


I'M NOT DEPRESSED!!!

Cracked.com

Like zebras and caribou, women travel in packs, particularly at social events.

Just announcing that a woman intends to marry you is an indication to the others that you are indeed, desirable, and worthy of stealing.

Memoirs from the jelly party

MD: How often do you think about [censored]?
ANH: About once a fortnight...
XR: ONCE A SPORTSNITE?!

AZ: She is SO getting me drunk... with oranges!

AZ *singing*: I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts...
...But I'm covering them up!

Maiya

Quotes dug out from 26-11-2008!

SR: Who cares? It's only a penis on a plate.

AZ: No bo sie nie dzga niedzwiedzia patykiem!

Nerayo [sp?]: Who writes love letters? The closest I ever wrote to a love letter is a text message 'Where ya at?'

SR: Otherwise I'll beat you to death with my quati!

Pub Quiz (Watershed)
What's the book of maps?
SR: A map book?
MD: AN ATLAS!

SR: Mesolithic yoyo

Re: Chewing gum box.
John [Who?]: Is there some kind of child-lock on this?!

Josh [Again - who?]: Politics? Ticks that play polo?

MWS: Then they turn around and realise it's just a twat with a coconut.

MD+XR: That's so book!

SD: Mialem przed oczami niedzwiadki baraszkujace na dachu... bylo ich piec albo szesc...


LOL, no context or author, but it's hilarious:
Unknown: I know for a fact you're not joking 'cause it wasn't funny.

Also:
Unknown: If I ever met myself I'd just be like 'Get out of my life!'
[Sounds like something I'd say tbh...]

Phone convo.
SD: A ja w kominku rozpalilem i sobie siedze.
MD: ...Nie masz kominka tatusiu! o.O

Just draining some olives...

MD: Did you see what that woman was doing?
XR: Yes. She seemed to be draining some olives.
[As you do. Well. I suppose that is just what you do. In the middle of Camden...]

To the goose chasing our boat.
XR: Badgers! There are badgers on this boat!

Looking over at the goose. Spotting an evil looking duck.
MD: [in sheer terror] WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!?!
[You had to be there I'm afraid]

XR: Hey! Matching children!

In Dans le Noir.
XR: Are you ok? You sound sad...

MD: MATE, I did [XR *look of shock&horror]- What the hell just happened? :|

XR: Are you going to D's birthday party?
MD: No. Why would I?
XR: Why not? But you're like, friends now ...On facebook.

To the attention of AZ:
Re: my birthday; first year.
MD: Agnes was there; Agnieszka was there...
XR: Agnes IS Agnieszka!
MD: No. Leja...
XR: WHAT?! There are TWO OF THEM?!

Then, as I start writing the above down:
XR: Agnes is a way cool cat. Just like shaft, but with less madness.
[????????]

Loving the pluralisation!
AZ: and me and geraint loao-ed.

What do gin and lesbians have in common again?

Fools:
This guy is trying to get boxes out of the truck.
The boxes are now out of the truck.
I can't imagine a way to get them out of the truck quicker
This was a successful truck-emptying mission.

House:
It's a very sad thing, an uncalibrated centrifuge. It makes me cry too.

Horrible Histories:
I mean a woman, dressed as a woman, on stage...It just doesn't seem right.

Re: freaks in T Square
AWJ: You capitalist dogs can't walk now

During conversation about Locke and sharing/using more resources than needed.
XR: An air conditioning party.

XR: This all started with John Locke you know. And ended on Milz having a cigar and a straw in rum tied to her face.

MD: I have the same problem with gin as I do with lesbians...

XR: But I'm liking her father though. Wait! That sounds gay.

MD: I wanted Dom to dress up as Daisy Duck.
XR: Like, for his birthday?
MD: Yeah. Not like...as a sexual fantasy!!!


AZ: "Co tam u najladniejszej dziewczyny w swiebodzicach." Gee thanks. Moglby sie mnie zapytac co tam u najladniejszej dziewczyny na russian female heavy weight wrestling championship.

JTA: man
he'd be the alpha wanker in that relationship

AWJ: my brain is dribbling from my ears

AWJ: wordrape

Cracked.com:
But searching around for anything that's not a diamond or gemstone ring, all I get is goth jewelry. And that's fine, if you're a goth, and you like your ring to be all crooked to symbolize the darkness and scarring of your soul or something -- but I'm not.

Our hypothetical man, assuming he's still alive at this point...

TENNIS!

CWB: 40:40. Juice.

MD: How do they pick the ball-girls?
CWB: The hottest ones get picked.
MD: Aren't they like...13?
CWB: Yeah. Takes a special kind of skill to judge that.

CWB: Life used to be so simple. And then they ran out of vegetable lasagne.

CWB: I have an understanding with the pigeons.

Re: People saying 'lol' and 'like'.
AWJ: So I see you in a great outfit and stick my thumb up and yell like?

MD: It's easy to be a hypothetical kungfu badass i think..
AWJ: Oh yeah, I am a blackbelt in hypotheticals


AWJ: lol, the jaundice paint
for all your paintings of liver failure
fun for all the family

Flint, linguistics, insults and the Seine

From Swan Book;
[Also, picture gallery to be updated today! :D]

No idea of the context! Shame that...
AZ: Ahhh...Gene Kelly!
MD: Ahhh...FLINT!

AVJ: He's a charity worker by day and a cage fighter by night.

AVJ: All the insults come out!
Chav.
Gay.
Corner-shop boy.

...Muslim!


Re: George Washington
GLSB: He's not like psychologically disabled.

GLSB: Imitation is a form of flattery [Reads my face] ...Or not? It's plagiarism and she's evil.

GLSB: It is linguistically impossible to come to that conclusion from that sentence!

GLSB: Natalie Portman! So hot!
MD: Ooh, have you seen Thor?
GLSB: No. But I've seen Leon...
*uncomfortable silence*


GLSB: I swear to god. Anyone who needs a pee - they tell me. I'm just that sort of person.

Drunken moping and advice.
MD: He's going to hate me! I'm going to be too common for him. [silence] Advise me!
GLSB: I duno!
...Be less common?

ECP: Child bearing hips... Oh yeah, she looks like she's fertile!

ECP: Fork-lift truck jousting.

ECP: Can I put my hand under your fringe?

Re: Met Thames story.
ECP: It's insane! Aha! No that would be in Paris. [proceeds to hang head in shame]


AWJ: It surprises me that there are still bidding wars for furbys though

AWJ: You could either wander London in the hope of grasscourt tennis, or trawl ebay for strange Japanese toys

AWJ: If someone fucked the devil in my garden I would not be amused

Disney character

XR: Maybe he was like a disney character?

XR: ...Your experiments intrigue me.

Game of Thrones: He was no dragon. Fire cannot kill a dragon.

Horrible Histories:
"Should I take her pulse?"
"No, she might need it!"

"We can't feed her dead buttered spiders, that's just crazy!"

Homeward bound:
"My baby, are you alright?"
"He threw me into the big litter-box!"

"Hey, hey, I'm not gonna hurt you! I just wanna chew on your neck!"

Lejdis:
"Przyjaźń to jedna dusza w dwóch ciałach" – powiedział przed wiekami grecki filozof, bez wątpienia gej"

House:
"22 year old men don't die of sex."

Re: High five for liking the Hugh Laurie album.
AWJ: *hugh five*

Stories and mammoths

Game of Thrones:
"I know a story about a crow."
"I hate your stories."
"I know a story about a boy who hated stories..."

Re: Me and XR.
AZ: Not actually being married. That's the secret to a successful marriage!


AZ: LOL
MD: ???
AZ: It's just...'wedlock'. Cause it sounds like 'warlock'!

Re: Flat hunting.
MD: how did the hunting go?
JTA: got a mammoth
:D
it'll feed the tribe for days to come

Love the one you're with

"The opposite of love is indifference"

"No, you were only in love with the idea of love. And now you are in love with the idea of a broken heart."


MD: Do lesbians have mummy issues?
AZ: Shall we google it?


LOL
"Females, and especially lesbians. hate males and see bisexual women as traders"

"Mommy, where do lesbians come from?"


TJEW: This is a spectacularly shit way of coming out and forcing someone else out with you.

A remarkable song, quotes, links and monk writing

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4x0K2Y7kPw

WILLIAM.

...Bit short innit?


Furthermore,
Death's Big Book of Baby Names



GLSB: I've just discovered 1 minute 16 of you foot-dancing to the Beatles.
(not a sentence I ever thought I'd have to say)


Horrible Histories, about Tutankhamen:
Yes his daddy became a mummy which is a very complex operation.

So the nine year old Tutankhamen became a Pharaoh, which I guess is pharoh-nuff.



Also, these remind me of LDC and GLSB respectively.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xAsVjj93P1I

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxpSdS1esZ4



Hello, I'm brother Alfred and this is my new assistant, brother Timothy.
Today we're going to teach you how to write like a monk.
Now, you'll need something to write on, so first take one cute little fluffy lamb... and cut it's throat.
Remember: always ask your parents' permission before you brutally slaughter a pet lamb.
[...]
Remember: always ask a goose's permission before plucking a feather.


And sit. And rule.

And mourn. And mourn. For the next 40 years.


The Hitler Youth. It's just like the Scouts, only evil.

[Swan migration]

The Swan Book Illustrations are now on a separate 'Page' [as opposed to a 'Post' which this is... Oh the confuzzlement!] which can be found on the right hand side. Somewhere. I'm not actually 100% convinced that this is going to work... But we shall see. Thanks for all the artistic and intellectual input from everyone! :Dxx

Life is a Roller-coaster, You just gotta ride it?

About nail-polish.
MD: IT'S NOT COMING OFF!
XR: Did you read the instructions?

[Soon after previous quote]
MD: Do you have a hammer?
AZ+XR: Don't hammer your foot off!!!
MD: ...To smash melons with?


While I was trying to take a picture of him wearing an Alan Sugar mask...
XR: What should I do?
MD: ... ¬_¬ I don't know - pull a funny face?

When taking 'Serious Physics' pictures.
XR: Come back up! Do you want me to throw you my hair?
GP+MD: ????????
XR: ..You know. Like Rapunzel?

MD: Apparently Asia can come to the picnic, but not to the zoo.
JS: The WHOLE of Asia? How big is your garden?!

About Togepi.
AZ: My egg is your napkin.
[And you know what. I just googled it. And it fucking well is!!! xD]


= Togepiproof!

XR: What have you done to these milks?!
ANH: ...I bought them?

ANH: Did you have a specific banana-related incident?

AZ: Where did he go to get them I mean... Yemen?!

XR [to ANH]: Let's do it Animal!
*tumbleweed*

XR: Can I call you Freeride?

XR: Are you staying in the middle to conserve momentum?

MD: I'm really regretting clothes right now!

XR: You saw the show too?! *HIGHFIVE* Do you have the badge? No? Yeah, let's not talk.

ANH: Is that scream related to that smell?

MD [to ANH]: That was an awkward hug...
AZ: You should have done it from behind.

AZ: You smell like a kebab.
SAS: I could do with a kebab!

MD: He invited me to his room to see his pipe.
SAS: Isn't it incredible!
MD: Oh god... I love Matt but I don't want to imagine his pipe!
SAS: It's like a shower, isn't it?

MD: Scotland tried to get an empire?! They can't even get independence!


Dara O'Brien: "So much pressure that even when naked you were adjusting your tie?!"

"Newspaper cut-outs"

[www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/health/made%11up-medicine-works-on-made%11up-illnesses-201105313882/]

"Experts stressed that acupuncture, like murder and lying, has existed for thousands of years and works on the fundamental Chinese principle that if it hurts it must be working."

"Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: "To truly assess the efficacy of acupuncture a widespread double-blind test needs to be conducted over a series of years but to be honest it's the equivalent of mapping the DNA of pixies or conducting a geological study of Narnia.""


[http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/05/28/stephen-magnet-analyzes-the-phyiscal_n_867805.html]

"Growing up, many of our favorite cartoons transcended reality and brought us into a world that wasn't "scientifically" correct. Unfortunately, one student's physics project just had to go and ruin that magic."